Hey, Tribelet! I hope you had a great day of school (whatever that looks like for you) and that you have your fave snack in front of you. (Actually, I guess it isn't a good idea to eat at the computer ... I've ruined a lot of keyboards that way ... just sayin'.) Have I mentioned that I love meeting you here after school?
Today's picture is APRIL, who signed the pledge to respect the dignity of every human being in all her words and actions. Woo-hoo, April! I'll send a SO NOt Okay button out to you.
We also need to welcome EMMA who just said she's in. Emma, if you and anybody else joining us for the first time will look on the right side of the blog for the SO Not Okay- After School Wednesdays spot, you can click there and go to the first post about After School Wednesdays and get caught up on what's going on. This is still part of TYAM (Tween You and Me) -- it's just a once-a-week meeting dedicated to stopping bullying.
Last week I issued the first Tribelet challenge: Save the Tears. (click here if you missed that) MAGGIE met the challenge right away by pulling a girl out of a neighborhood situation where boys were being, well, heinous to her, and taught her about Save the Tears. LARISSA did the same for a girl in her class AND she actually used it herself when some kids were making fun of her. Both Maggie and Larissa will receive the booklet "Tips For Standing Up to Bullying" signed by me. Several of you said school hasn't started yet so you haven't had a chance to help someone "save the tears", but you can ALWAYS meet any challenge we've talked about in any of the After School Wednesday posts.
To give everybody a chance to catch up, let's talk about something LARISSA pointed out. She said sometimes when she tries to help someone who's the brunt of someone's meanness, the person doing the bullying turns on HER (Larissa).
Yeah, unfortunately that happens sometimes and you hear things like:
"This is none of your business. Go away."
"Was I talking to you?"
"Oh, so you must be stupid (a geek, a loser, etc.) too."
Sometimes it doesn't even happen right when you're standing up for someone but it pops up later.
"You can't sit with us -- you're friends with that fat (ugly, obvnoxious, new, etc.) girl."
"Don't be bringing HER germs around HERE."
"Hey, loser, don't think you can stop us because WE are the ones in charge, not you."
Sometimes the backlash from standing up for somebody isn't even in words. You might get mean looks or find yourself being excluded. Sounds bad enough to make you want to forget the whole thing!
But there are things you can do before it ever gets that far. See how these sound to you:
*Remember that you are strong, or you would have been bullied BEFORE you started standing up for the victims. Nothing has changed except that you're now a threat to the bullies. Go with that.
* DON'T become a bully yourself, coming back at mean girls with things like, "You just need to knock this off or you're going to be in so much trouble." Or,"Oh, you think you can turn on ME now? All right -- bring it."
* DO be ready with a postive one-liner. This is a sentence you say whenever someone tries to turn the bullying on you. It should meet these requirements:
1. It's positive -- it builds up rather than tears down
"I'm all about everybody being respected and I'm going to KEEP being about that."
2. It shows respect for who the bully really is (hard as that may be to see!)
"I think you're better than this."
3. It shows that you aren't afraid (even if you secretly are)
"I guess you're trying to bully me too but you can't hurt me so you might as well give it up."
Your one-liner can be serious or funny ("That's me, defender of the underdog. Woof!") -- it can be short ("Seriously?") or a LITTLE longer ("Call me crazy, but I want school to be more fun. You?") -- it can be light ("I think you need to get over yourself.") or heavier ("I'm sick of all this mean stuff so you can say whatever you want to me but I'm doing something about it.")
There are as many postive one-liners as there are mini-women. Will you come up with one that works for you and share it with us? Who knows? Someone else here in the Tribelet might adopt it for theirs.
I'll go first. Whenever I hear someone putting someone else down, I say, "Seriously _________ (name)? You are SO much better than that." I have never had someone come back at me with, "No, I am NOT better than that!"
Okay, Tribelet, show us what you're workin' with!