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12/29/2011

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Okay, I admit that I'm still recovering from last spring, when my life was just awful and I found that I didn't care about anything anymore. I've been still "rebuilding" and learning to care again. I guess "not caring" is trying to rule over my life right now, although it's gotten a lot better.

All right, not that many people at my school care about anything. I think it's almost unhealthy to be exposed to that attitude every day, when I'm still trying to bring myself away from it myself. All I would probably miss out on is more time not doing anything or working towards anything, which gives a fleeting pleasure. What helps me is remembering times when I have really worked hard towards a goal and gained so much more pleasure from that.

Making all of my goals God's goals, and praying for help with everything, of course. I have often asked God for help and felt like He is not helping at first, but then a few days later I realize that He has been helping the whole time. Or...maybe not even making my goals God's goals, but making God's goals MY goals. Or both ways. :)

I guess the pressure to fit in kinda rules my life. I trust my friends, but there are people who I'm afraid will think of me differently if I act more God seeking. I WANT to act like a God seeking person, but I'm just too chicken to put myself out there on the line. But I've been expressing God more and more everyday and I can totally see a change in everything. It's like God went over my life with a colorful paintbrush and made everything prettier and easier. But then I still have to face people who intimidate me. Thank you God for make my life better!!! Please pray for me to be courageous for God. Thank you Mrs. Rue for this post!!! I love turning on my laptop and finding a new blog post from you!

I know that I haven't posted in so long, but I have been following the entire time! :)
I find that things that rule my life over Jesus are school grades and the drama of friends. Living with 24 girls in one hallway is really hard. Even though the school I go to is Catholic, the girls there seem to and act like they have no idea about God or interest in following His ways. It's really hard being solo and feeling like I have the rest of the dorm against me as I seem to fight the battle to not be altered alone. The world has such judgmental views of Christianity and often I find that I don't really have anyone to talk to but God and although He is the absolute best, it would be nice to have a friend there there who shared similar values and a good shoulder to cry on when the others break my shell and really hurt me. :( The LORD really does turn my life into a kingdom for Him though. He gives me comfort and love and the power to stick through it all like super glue. :) Thank you for the post, Mrs. Rue! The pic. of you and your granddaughter is adorable :)

Hi, everyone I've been reading the posts for a while but am finally commenting.
Um, "kings" that are ruling my life right now is probably social pressure and drama. Like Skye, I go to a Christian school, but its almost as if most of my friends there don't care, its a small school so I'm friends with everybody in my class. Its almost as if I would be better off at a public school, which by the way, I won't to go to one so pray that my parents will allow me to do that. And then it's like in order to keep some friends I have to do this and in order to keep other friends I have to do this and I can't hang out with this person at the same time that I'm hanging out with this other person and I just get so caught up in my many selves that I don't even know which one is really me. Technology is another one, I'm always on the computer or text messaging someone, or watching TV. School is another one, I'm not as obsessed with like colleges and universities but, I still am concerned, and as a middle schooler, I probably shouldn't be.

I would be very lost, if I was "myself" all the time, because I would probably lose a lot of friends I spend way to much time on online things than I do on school work, I even do my homework in front of the computer so that I can listen to youtube...

And um, I really don't know how God is turning all these other lords to be of use of his kingdom. I mean I've found a Christian blog, and I have some friends that know me when I'm myself and I have like a handful of friends that don't swear or use profane language, so I guess theres that but, I don't really see what that has to do with me not being myself, or me not focusing on school work or obsessing on getting into a good college at 13...
well I'll pray for everybody
xoxoxoxoxo
Corinne

All of you are in my prayers! Skye, I know it isn't the same as having an actual friend there with you, but we (on the blog) are always here to listen to you and pray for you!

Happy new year!!!
I'm feeling like everyone's growing up and leaving me behind. That's my biggest lord right now, I guess, dealing with that and feeling pressure to grow up fast. All my friends are really into guys. Sure, I have a tad of interest (who doesn't have interest in 'boy-creatures' as I recall Mrs. Rue calling them once. I like them as friends... But last night (New Year's Eve. My best friend and I had a Skype party and stayed up laaaaate) I was talking to my best friend and she's changed since last time we properly talked (August? September? October? Somewhere in there...We email every day, but we haven't Skyped in a while...). She's into boys. I don't know. I'm probably being dramatic, but I feel like Tacy, in the Betsy-Tacy books by Maud Hart Lovelace (those books are soo good :) ) Betsy's boy crazy and Tacy doesn't care at all, but she listens so happily to everyone's musings and news on boys. i think I car more than Tacy, but still, I'm a long shot from caring as much as my friends do.
Another is the LACK of God in my life, all my fault. This Christmas I've really been feeling that desire to get back in touch with God (I think I'm still in that a year ago fall-ness, of ignoring God. Actually, I don't know WHY...). Anyway, this 'lord' is steadily becoming 'Lord'. I feel like God is giving me the desire to run back to Him, and I'm taking it. It feels so good to be back with Him (it'll take a while to get back to normal, but this lord is become a capital letter L lord!)
Praying for all of you!!
xxx

Hi girls! I know you probably don't remember me; last time I was on was summer? Maybe once in September? All I remember was that we were on the brink of Mrs. Nancy's website & new book on boys. (Updates on that, please?) Either way, I've been telling my self I have been too busy with school to get on. However, I've recently felt a conviction of God telling me that I'm actually too busy NOT to get on:/ I've started a new school after being homeschooled for 5 years, and it has been a less than smooth transition. I realized that this blog acted as a great accountability system for me last year, and so I'm back.;)

Skye, I know we are not actually there with you in your dorm, but you absolutely have us!!!

I think definitely social acceptance at school & at home as well as grades, which tie into the latter, are lords of my world. Many times I feel as if I'm failing at these, and it's not that bad. Still, I can totally see God working in my school life, using me in ways I didn't know possible. That is a blessing!

Some things that are trying to lord over my life are definitely social pressure, stress, and dance. I almost constantly feel pressure to be "cool" to fit it and do what everyone else is doing, to be skinnier, to not talk about God, or to talk about God. Stress is something that's just always there threatening to take over my life. Dance is an interesting one because this summer I learned that I was really making it an idol in my life. I surrendered it to God and made some changes that would help me not to see it as an idol anymore, but its still hard for me to balance being really into something and elevating it to a higher status than God. I honestly really want to let God take control over all of this, but it's so hard. Sometimes I have those moments where I'm like "Wow God", but other times I just feel lost.

To let God completely take over my life I'd have to give up caring what other people think about me. This year at my dance intensive my roommate didn't care what anyone thought about her and was confident in herself. I watched her all month and wanted to be like that, but I'm still not sure how. I know it's not right, but I'm always wondering what others are thinking about me or if they even notice me. God truly being my King of Kings and Lord of Lords would mean I was confident in myself and in Him.

The kingdom of my world could turn into the kingdom of the Lord if I just embraced God. If I gave up what little social standing I had and said "You know what? I'm a Christian and I'm not ashamed of it. What to know why?" I'm not the girl who could say that yet, but I want to be. Honestly I'm not really sure how I can make that transformation, but I do know that I can't do it alone. I know by trusting in God, I can change. I am confident that one day I'll be able to look back and understand everything, but right now I'm just kind of fumbling through. I don't think it really matters that I don't know what I'm doing though. As long as I'm doing my best, fumbling or not, God will take care of the rest.

Hey girls I'll be out of town for a week cause my family's going on vacation. So I won't be on here for a bit and also could you pray for safety and that we'll all get along? Thanks!

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