Hey, Ladies. Can I just say for about the fifty bajillionth time that I have so much respect for you? You get on here and you ponder what I offer you, and then you give these honest, self-exposing comments. I can only assume they're honest, because why would you say you're having a "pity party" (I am the quintessential hostess of those, PAIGE!), or that you haven't started on big loomng projects and have only yourself to blame (ah, KATIE, that makes me think of deadlines . . .), or that you procrastine on homework by doing other good things, like cleaning (ABBY my house is never so clean as when I need to get started on a new project!), or even that you just found out you didn't get a scholarship ( so sorry, MARLEE; it's so competitive these days). That same honesty keeps you from being inhibited in offering help.
* MELODY sharing that dropping everything to spend kairos time helping a freind made the rest of the day seem not so busy and overwhelming
* MARLEE saying it helped to take a break from "the seemingly never ending strain of homework" and to realize that she needs to spend time doing things that DON'T freak her out.
* EA picking up on that and processing until she got to "I need to seek out those things more (the things that make her experience Kairos) " and "I'll start keeping a list of things like that."
I don't even need to elaborate on those. I'll just say, you would do well to embrace their experience and make it your own.
Keep that up, ladies-- that honesty and courage. That will be a huge factor in "Giving Up Freaking Out" (which we started out yesterday as the "Worry Series", making this Post #2) And thanks for reminding me of that title OLIVIA and MARLEE.
I don't think we had any prayer requests (though those are always welcome) so let's just dive into . . .
"IS TIME THE ENEMY?"
READ: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 You've heard it before, probably a thousand times. You might even have heard the Sixties song, "Turn, Turn" (Most likely at your grandparents' house!) But read it again, slowly and carefully. Don't get too hung up on individual verses (like "a time to kill" and "a time to hate." Just consider what the author (some scholars say it was King Solomon, others a more lowly subject from a later time period; whoever he was, he was wise) -- just consider what he (or she?) was getting at over all.
PONDER: If God gives a time for everything on that list, then there IS time for what's important. But does it all have to happen at the SAME time? Are there things you're trying to do right now that could wait until a better season? Are you trying to do it all before you're 20? Spend some serious time reflecting on that, journaling about it or sketching your thoughts.
MIGHT I SUGGEST: First, please know that I often find myself thinking of time as my enemy. I read a poem in college, something about "time's winged chariot" being ever at my back, and that image has thundered behind me more than once. Way more than once. So I'm untangling this right along with you. Here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that --
(1) Time is only our enemy when we make it our enemy. Sort of like parents at times. Do their rules, expectations, misinterpretation of what you mean sometimes make it seem like you're on opposite sides of a battle ground? Same with time. It's really just there, and it's actually a gift from time. The opposite of having time is, uh, dying. It's our attitude toward it that sets it up as an antagonist.
(2) The only thing I have found that turns time into a friend -- and believe me I have tried every time management program and approach to scheduling known to man (and woman) -- is to put aside the things that make it the enemy, that tip you over the edge so that you come up snarling at it. Before you protest that everything on your list HAS to be done, let me just assure you, it doesn't. Make a list of everything you do. Prioritize it. Pray over it. Then lop off one thing off the bottom. I got rid of Twitter first. I mean, really? Seriously? Then cut something else off. I dumped my personal Facebook profile and stuck with my fan page. See if you can eliminate a third thing off the bottom. I got help with my fan mail in a way that my replies are still personal. For you that might be Facebook, reading every blog in life, hanging out on You Tube, being in every club and activity so your college resume will be stunning, going to every link your friends suggest. (Just don't cut out this blog, okay?!)
(3) Do at least one thing a week that gives you kairos time. Do that more if you can. I look at it as an Artist's Date (a term not original with me). It can be hard to carve out. It is for me. But every time I do it, the rest of my time unfolds more like silk than twine that's in a knot. (make that WET twine!)
(3) Most important of all, seek first the kingdom of God. In our reality, that means have a quiet time with God every single day. Don't let anything else interfere with that 20 or 30 minutes (and hopefully longer some days.) Study the passages you're going to find on here almost daily during Lent. Talk to God about your actual problems. Close your eyes and listen. Let that be kairos time too.
SHARE WITH US: We're on this journey together, me right along with you. So tell us what you feel comfortable sharing from PONDER or any of the other sections. As I hope I showed at the beginning of this post, you are each other's best teachers. I'm just here as the facilitator and guide. And trust me, I'm learning a lot from you, Not only that, but when you write out your thoughts, I can see you processing them as you go. You may not even know what you think until you type it. That, my friends, is the mystery of God at work in you.
Until tomorrow, blessings, Ladies.
"In the fullness of time, put all things in subjection under your Christ." (Book of Common Prayer, Eucharistic Prayer B)
Nancy Rue
I have a prayer request: A very dear friend of mine applied for a highschool program that involved college classes and being able to get your associates degree when you graduate highschool, and she was very passionate about that. She just found out that she didn't get accepted for the time being and she is very disappointed. I just would like prayers that she'll be able to move on and that God has something else that is just as amazing waiting for her:)
Posted by: *Olivia* :) | 02/19/2013 at 06:08 PM
Hey ladies! Sorry I haven't been on much... I've been so busy with school but I only have 3 days left!! I'm super excited! The only thing is that I still have quite a bit to do. I've been putting of writing my research paper that's due on Friday. I've done a lot of research but I still have to actually write the paper. I'm a bit nervous about that - I hate writing (unless I'm journaling).
I haven't actually done the 'pondering' for this post but here are the top things on my list of things I need to do: prayer/quiet time, school, work, family time. Any other time my list would probably be super long but I cut off a ton of my list for this week because I really need to focus on getting all of my school done.
So yesterday, I was in my first car wreck...I rear-ended this lady at a stoplight. I barely hit her so there were only a couple of scratches (and most of them are on my car). But still, it totally freaked me out and I had nightmares about it all last night. I've always been a very careful driver so I'm really upset that I actually hit someone and, since it was my first wreck, it scared me more than it probably would have otherwise. I'm still slightly freaked out but I think I'll be okay... Prayers would be appreciated, though!
Olivia - praying for your friend!
Love all of you girls!!
Posted by: Sarah Elizabeth | 02/19/2013 at 07:29 PM
Ugh go away spam! So sorry about that wreck Sarah Elizabeth, that must have been so scary:( Prayers and thank you for prayers for my friend!:)
Posted by: *Olivia* :) | 02/19/2013 at 10:20 PM
Reading these posts has been really helpful and has caused me to think a more seriously about how I spend my time and just what I get so stressed out over. Being a bit of a perfectionist (okay, a MAJOR perfectionist!) I realized that I have the tendency to take on too much at a time and try to figure out my life and accomplish all my life goals before I've even graduated high school! Definitely planning to reevaluate my schedule/pastimes and make space for kairos time during the week.
Olivia, praying for your friend!
Sarah Elizabeth, so sorry about the accident! Praying for that and for you to have extra grace for these last few days of school!
Posted by: Sasha | 02/19/2013 at 11:48 PM
I really need to focus on school work more then I am. My brain is in too many different places at once and my grades are suffering. I'm not very busy as other years but I spend quite a large amount of time just thinking and worrying and trying to fix things. I know that needs to go. I also spend way too much time on Pinterest, I love it, buuut I'm slightly obsessed. xD So I need to cut down on my internet time a lot.
Posted by: Therese | 02/20/2013 at 11:50 AM
Olivia - Your friend will be in my thoughts and prayers! I'll tell you what my mom said when I didn't get that scholarship, God will put you where you need to be. Wherever I end up for college and whatever your friend does in high school will be God's will and will be the right thing for us right now.
Sarah Elizabeth - Praying for you; I don't know how scary that must have been but I'm glad no one was hurt.
Could you all please pray for my friend? She's had some problems with depression and right now is stressed out about her job and finding scholarships for school. Thanks.
Posted by: Marlee | 02/20/2013 at 01:49 PM
Praying for your friend Marlee, and thanks for that, your mother is very wise:)
Posted by: *Olivia* :) | 02/20/2013 at 05:12 PM
I think my kairos time comes when I'm reading a great book, enjoying time outside practicing soccer or walking my dog or playing with my brother, and having real conversations with my friends and family. I'm so with you on the Pinterest time suck, Therese!! I think just the internet in general takes a lot out of my day - it's like, there's so much information and great blogs and websites, and I almost get freaked out that I'll miss something. The irony is that then I'm missing out on real life :/
I LOVE the reading you chose for this post Mrs. Rue, and I'd never thought before about the fact that God will give us all the time we need to do His will - His plans are perfect, and that includes a perfect schedule. I think that I tend to make things take longer than they need to. Like, if my math homework takes me less than an hour one night, I'll go slower than usual on the problems or reread my notes a jillion times. I think I just need to realize that I often make things harder and longer than they really are just so that I feel like I'm doing it better or something - hopefully that makes sense. I'm just being such a perfectionist that I'm creating obstacles of my own through procrastination, poor planning, or filling up time with effort that isn't necessary. It's a scary thought, but maybe I DON'T need to spend so much time on things like homework and chores. Maybe I just need to be efficient in managing my time and trust that every day has its own worries, and God serves up the perfect amount of work for each day, without any "super-sizing" needed from me.
Hmm, what a new way of thinking! I'll definitely be chewing on this for a while. Oh, and thanks much for the prayers for the weekend girls! The soccer clinic went pretty well, and I really liked the school :) Praying for all of you girlies!
Love and Blessings,
*Rachel*
Posted by: *Rachel* | 02/20/2013 at 05:13 PM
Hey ladies
It's been a while since I gave you all an update on baby Em so I thought I'd pop in and let you all know how she's doing. I got to go up to the hospital and see her and her beautiful mama in the NICU today. She is absolutely precious and I took a million pictures. She's just over 4 pounds now, and once she can tolerate feeds enough to get rid of her NG tube she'll be allowed to come home. She's already tolerating a little bit of breast milk but not enough to sustain her so she still needs her tube for now, but the hope is that in the next little bit she should be well enough to come home. She is so tiny and even opened her eyes and smiled at me while I was up there this afternoon. So if you could all continue to keep Em and her mama in your prayers, as well as prayers for her daddy and big sister who are at home.
As for time, i feel like I never have enough of it. I feel like I should always be doing something, or feel guilty because I'm not dedicating enough time to school or to playing with my cat or my dog or riding my horse or that i don't have enough time to spend with my family or friends. Over the past few days, as I'm on a reading week from school, I'm learning what it means to have time that's not all about rushing from one thing to the next. Instead of rushing from one class to the next and then coming home and doing homework and eating and sleeping and whatever I actually am finding the time to go out for a nice lunch with my mom or go visit my friend and baby Em in the hospital or go out for a nice day shopping or spend some time doing what i want to do. it's definitely been good for me, and I'll be sad when this week is over and my regular schedule resumes. But I feel like God is kind of nudging me towards making time for myself, and making time to heal. Life isn't this big race and He's showing me that I need to make time to love and to really live and experience life. I need to stop and smell the roses, so to speak, and take a time out. homework will still be there after i finish playing a game with my brother, no activity is so important that it can't be pushed aside so I can enjoy a lunch date with my mom or a cuddle session with my cat. I guess I'm learning to use kairos time more and spend less time rushing.
Posted by: Alisha | 02/20/2013 at 06:13 PM
Crazy! I was just reading that poem this week, Mrs. Rue!
For this week, I tried to cut out working out. Although I know it's good for me, I just don't have time. I've also lowered my internet time significantly and now only watch 2 TV shows on a weekly basis, rather than 4. In addition, I've made sure every morning (even if it means skipping over make-up time) I have a little Jesus-time.
As for Karios time, I'm honestly not sure what I do that gives me this. I'll have to ponder it a bit more.
Posted by: Paige | 02/21/2013 at 11:27 AM
Prayer plz - really really want to go back to self injury right now, I'm sick of fighting the urge and I'm running out of strength
Posted by: Abby:) | 02/21/2013 at 08:09 PM
Just sent up a prayer for you Abby! Psalm 34 <3
Posted by: *Rachel* | 02/21/2013 at 08:46 PM
Abby, hang in there. Email me if you like... darienc@rogers.com
Posted by: Crystal | 02/21/2013 at 08:53 PM
I have trouble spending kairos time. I personally find it hard to get excited about it! I guess this is just a human's selfish nature.
I really want to work on that. Any suggestions?
Posted by: May | 02/21/2013 at 09:05 PM
Praying right now Abby. I'm sorry, I know how it is. Stay strong girly. You can do this, we love you. God's got you. <3
Posted by: Therese | 02/21/2013 at 09:10 PM
I actually have the opposite problem of May; I totally, love when I fall into Kairos time, it's just because of my lack of planing I end up whining about I do t have time for that either! My mom is helping with that,and I am forcing myself to read this excellent book my father loved when he was my age,and I haven't read in so long "just for enjoyment". I know in the culture I have come to share and claim ,being at the top in what you do is just expected,and so is the stress that can come with it. It's been hard to learn that yeah,it's okay to push yourself,but you will be completely drained if you don't get some time to just "live" and feel the sun. I am keeping everyone in my prayers!
Posted by: Alexandria | 02/21/2013 at 09:57 PM
Abby, prayers beautiful girl! Stay strong and hang in there, no matter how tough it is. God's got a plan for you and he's gonna take care of you:) Your in my thoughts and prayers always:)
Posted by: *Olivia* :) | 02/22/2013 at 09:14 AM