Good morning, Ladies. It's still very quiet in my house, and outside the lake seems to be holding its breath as it waits for the snow that's soon to come. I wanted just such a moment to post for you today. I wanted a Holy Spirit moment.
Here's why.
In all the years we've been gathering here on In Real Life (how many is it, PAIGE and MELODY? I think you two have been here since the beginning.) -- anyway, in all that time, I can't remember the responses to a post being so deep. It's as if we have entered a new room in what Teresea of Avila called The Interior Castle and Thomas Merton named the Palace of Nowhere. These are the kinds of things you've said in answering the question: "What happened to the Holy Spirit?"
KATIE: "I think that the Holy Spirit does, in some sense, adapt to the culture in which we live." (And can I just respond to Katie's casual mention of the fact that she's mentoring another girl in Bible study? That is huge. Huge.) Katie also said: "I think that sometimes because we don't have the type of faith in God that moves mountains, we can overlook or explain away the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
NUDGED TO ACTION: STOP EXPLAINING THE HOLY SPIRIT AWAY. IT'S REAL.
SARAH ELIZABETH: "Personally I think the reason we're not seeing miracles is that we don't believe it can really happen. I know I need to be willing to just speak out . . . it really comes down to a lack of faith."
NUDGED TO ACITON: BELIEVE IN MIRACLES. SPEAK OUT
THERESE: (inspired by the music) "I let myself feel God. The Holy Spirit was there, I know it, and I listened. The voice remains as a recurring whisper in my mind. It raised some questions, some food for thought, some things to ponder and consider as I try to get through each day . . . struggling with self-injury."
NUDGED TO ACTION: LET YOURSELF FEEL GOD. LISTEN.
IRELAND: "My parents say, 'Don't let your highs get too high or your lows get too low.' -- But being in the middle is not that great. I wish I was feeling something, instead of feeling numb. Music is my favorite place to be . . ."
NUDGED TO ACTION: DON'T BE AFRAID TO FEEL.
SASHA: "It wasn't until a few years ago that I really began to underand that Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to us so that he could guide us and teach us and basically help us get closer to Jesus. After I began to grasp that, I started talking with Holy Spirit each day . . . taking short 10 second breaks to just quiet down and focus and receive."
NUDGED TO ACITON: QUIET DOWN. RECEIVE. BE GUIDED.
AMY: "I think (my fellow students) have lost the true meaning of the swearing they do and just throw it around. Anyone who would speak openly about their faith would stick out from the crowd and more than likely get made fun of. I guess I'm afraid that I'll get made fun of too."
NUDGED TO ACTION: TAKE A SMALL STEP OUT OF THE MINDLESS CROWD. MAYBE START WITH NOT SWEARING, OR GOSSIPING, OR GETTING TOO CAUGHT UP TO PRAY.
ABBY: "I haven't really felt the Holy Spirit in a while. It kinda makes me miss my self-injury days because that was when I could really feel the tug of war between it and Satan. The parts where I felt the Holy Spirit were wonderful."
NUDGED TO ACTION: CALL ON THE HOLY SPIRIT WHEN YOU AREN'T IN CRISIS.
MAY: "For me the Holy Spirit is an inspiration that helps me sort everything out on paper (drawing). Sometimes this just keeps me breathing."
NUDGED TO ACTION: FIND A "RITUAL" TO KEEP YOU FOCUSED AS YOU ASK THE HOLY SPIRIT FOR GUIDANCE. DRAWING (like May). DANCING (like Abby) RAISING YOUR HANDS IN SONG (like Therese)
ALISHA: "This year the Holy Spirit just keeps sending me gentle reminders to focus on myself, to focus on healing my mind, my body, and my spirit (instead of running from one thing to the next, trying to please people, and just wearing myself out) . I'm basically locking my wings and riding this air current that if I tried to fly on my own would probably kill me. I'm taking a step back from life, from control, and just trusting, which is a lot scarier than it sounds."
NUDGED TO ACTION: STOP TRYING TO "CONTROL" AND LET THE HOLY SPIRIT HEAL AND GUIDE YOU.
PAIGE: "For me it's just hard to grasp that I don't see the Holy Spirit working in the same ways in the United States (as in Third World countries). I know he's there working in me . . . but I guess the transition for me was/is a really tough one."
NUDGED TO ACTION: EMBRACE THE HOLY SPIRIT WHEREVER YOU ARE, EVEN IF HE DOESN'T MAKE HIS PRESENCE OBVIOUS.
RACHEL: "I've come to the wonderful acceptance that God doesn't always work in huge obvious miracles but in the little day to day moments when the still small voice calls me to holiness. And those moments add up to a life that can't help but burst forth with the radiance of heaven. One nudge I've been responding to recently is to just stop throughout my day to take a breath and have a God-break, just a few minutes or even seconds to pray and just let myself be with the One who loves and sustains me perfectly."
NUDGED TO ACTION: KNOW THAT YOU ARE CALLED TO HOLINESS. CHECK IN WITH GOD OFTEN TO HEAR THE NEXT STEP IN THE CALL.
I have absolutely no reason to say another thing. You have said it so deeply to each other. As RACHEL puts it, "I feel like we are all in the same room having this conversation face to face, tear to tear, smile to smile."
So let's do this.
* Find a place today to stand in light. The sun. A lamp. Some faint beams filtering between the slats in the blinds. A burning candle. A fire in the fireplace.
* Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you toward one of the NUDGES from the list above that your Sisters have provided for you -- or something else the Spirit brings to mind.
* Take that action
* Continue to share with us. We are learning so much from each other. That, my loves, is the Body of Christ at work.
Next week is our last week before Lent begins. It's a season of sacrifice and self-examination. If you have any thoughts about how you would like to journey through those forty days together, please post them or email me at nnrue@att.net.
One more thing: each month this year I'm offering a giveaway, and for teens this month it's THE WHOLE GUY THING. If you don't have a copy, or if you do but you'd like one for a friend, please email me at nnrue@att.net. I'm also giving away SOPHIE LOVES JIMMY for tweens so if you know an 8 to 12 year old girl who'd like one, let me know.
Blessings in the Spirit,
Nancy Rue
Hey girls, I just wanted to say thank you so much for your prayers. Last night I finally talked to my mom about the issues I was facing. I cried a lot, not something I usually do, but it felt so good. My mom wants me to get help again. I really don't want to, but I have to if I want to keep this relationship with my mom. I can't keep hurting the people that love me. I'm really scared to let go of this, cutting seems like my only out. I'm scared to let go of control and trust someone else to help me. I wasn't even this scared the first time around but this time its different, I know where both roads lead. I feel like messing up the second time is much more frowned upon then messing up the first. Just prayers that I can get through this would be wonderful. Thank you girlies, I love you. <3 I'll answer the questions from the post a little later after I've had time to think more. :)
Posted by: Therese | 02/02/2013 at 09:49 AM
Oh my goodness, this is an amazing post- so much to think about! Thank you so much!
I think it's been... like four years. Or three. Something like that- I remember being SO excited when you started this blog... oh yes. We've come so far, haven't we? We're all growing up, we're having more/different struggles, but we've grown...
Thank you... for everything. xxx
Posted by: Kate | 02/02/2013 at 07:30 PM
Therese,
I totally understand. I understand the feeling of not knowing what to do when you let go of something that's chained you (And also, in a way held you) for so long. It's scary. I'm in the exact same position. It can be scary to get help, to let go of this thing even when you know what is waiting on the other side has to be better then what you are living right now. I totally understand. I am definitely praying for you, and sending all my love to you. If you ever want to talk, feel free to email me. Nancy and Crystal both have my email address and you can get it from one of them, or you can leave a comment on my blog with it and I can write you (I'll make it so only I can see the comment.) I'm here for you, girlie. Love you!
Also, I'm coming here asking for prayer. I was planning on posting in our google group but since I'm already writing a comment I thought I'd just add it in here. Tomorrow my mom and I are headed off to the hospital again for 2 days of doctors appointments. I'm excited and really nervous, and, like always, these appointments have the potential to change my life forever. I would just really appreciate your prayers, prayers that things would go well, and that I would get some answers. I get back on Tuesday night sometime so either that night or sometime on Wednesday I'll comment and let you guys know how the appointments went. Thanks in advance for all your prayers!
As for responding to the post the last few days I've been thinking a lot about just what the Holy Spirit is prompting me to do. Last night I did something really crazy (That I would NOT normally do!) And volunteered to help a guy friend of mine lead the youth worship band for our turn hosting the city wide youth worship service at the beginning of March. I seriously don't know why I did it but I just felt lead to do something outside my comfort zone. At the youth service last night one thing the pastor said really hit me and that was, "God never works in the same ways twice." Once I got to witness a miracle. I was given the gift of seeing through Celestial eyes. And then things got dark and scary again and I kept waiting for that miracle, for God to show himself to me in all His God-ness. But it didn't happen. Instead of giving me eyes to see, He gave my hands to heal. He gave me the Holy Spirit. And I didn't realize that until last night. And, kind of like Therese was saying, I'm afraid of following that nudge from the Holy Spirit to go beyond myself and live my life and I am crippled by guilt and fear even though I know this is what I'm supposed to be doing. But it's scary to move beyond your comfort zone. Even though I know whats waiting out there for me it great, it's really scary to move out of this place of pain and open myself up to healing and to the Holy Spirit. So I don't know, I know what the Holy Spirit is nudging me to do but I am afraid of listening, if that makes any sense. It seems like whenever I take one step forward (Like agreeing to do worship for the city wide youth service) I end up taking two steps back.
Love you all, and praying for you girls! I'll comment again when I get home from the hospital.
Posted by: Alisha | 02/02/2013 at 07:57 PM
Therese, that's great!
Posted by: May | 02/03/2013 at 12:45 AM
Therese, that's wonderful! So glad to hear you were able to talk with your mom. Praying with you, girl :)
Alisha, definitely will be praying for you about your doctors appointments,too :) And way to go for stepping out of your comfort zone and volunteering to help with worship band!
While I want to think about this post some more, I have felt that Holy Spirit has been nudging me to redefine my opinion of success. Lately I've been pretty stressed about school. Anytime I get a bad grade or have trouble understanding a concept, my train of thought goes from "Ooh... that wasn't what I expected" to " Oh my gosh! What if I never get scholarships because of this grade? Then how on earth am I supposed to go to college?"
I become so overwhelmed and upset at myself for not being "perfect" that I almost instantly label myself as a failure.
I was discussing this with a friend, and she mentioned how, God's definition of success is bigger and different than the world's. Obviously I should do my best in school, but even when I feel completely confused, God still sees value in me and He still calls me successful. There's a saying that I've heard before that says, "I love God and am loved by God-- therefore, I am successful." Still trying to figure out exactly what the Lord's definition of success is, but I feel like Holy Spirit is nudging me to search it out.
Posted by: Sasha | 02/03/2013 at 01:01 PM
Thanks that helped me a lot
My best friend has been feelin sort of depressed recently to do with family problems and he has a lot on his plate. He blurted it out to me tonight. People also sort of bully him and call him gay because he hangs out with girls all the time. He's really not and I wouldn't blame him for hanging out with girls because most of the boys are really immature. He doesn't eat a lot either exept from rubbish and I'm worried. Please pray for him
Posted by: Amy | 02/03/2013 at 06:59 PM
In October, it'll be 5 years since I first sent you, Mrs. Rue, an email. What an incredible blessing you, the blog, and all the "mini-women" have been to me!
I'm going to start really praying that God will open my eyes to see the Holy Spirit working all around me. I'm going to try and really seek His face in everything around me.
As for Lent, I was thinking about 40 days of giving up worries. I know, we're never supposed to worry, but focusing on different areas that we all worry about (homework/book deadlines, family issues, relationship/friendship, anxiety about the future, etc.) I don't know.
Therese- I'll be continuing to pray for you. I know it's a bumpy journey and recovery takes a long, long time. If you ever need to chat, feel free to email me again.
Posted by: Paige | 02/05/2013 at 12:10 PM
Wow this is an awesome post. Lot's of things to think about.
Hey, will you guys pray for me? I've been really struggling in my relationship with God, but I the pastor's daughter so I feel like I can't tell anyone at church that I'm having a hard time. I feel like maybe it's OK to be less than perfect here, and ask for help. Thanks.
Ashley
Posted by: Ashley :) | 02/05/2013 at 01:41 PM