'Tween You And Me

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU: JUST YOUR STYLE

Two and a half years ago, I looked like this. Just the other day I ran into someone I hadn't seen since then, and he didn't recognize me with my new 'do. He said to me, 'Why do you women re-invent yourselves every year?"

He doesn't get it. We can cut him some slack -- he's a guy, after all. Unlike us girls, male-type people aren't searching for their best look. But half the fun of being a girl is figuring out how we can be our most beautiful selves. It's not like that's ALL we think about, but when we DO -- it's kinda cool. And why not find the best way to play up what God has given us? I think that verse about not hiding your light under a bushel basket (has anyone actually ever seen one of those?) applies to the way we look, too.

Now, if you would rather just wash your hair -- according to our earlier tips -- get it trimmed every six weeks, brush it at night, and forget about it, that's perfectly fine. But just in case you're interested in going a little further with your hair care, let's start with finding a style that suits your face. Here's how to do that -- your Beauty Assignment for today:

        *  Go to a mirror. (And remember, the mirror is now your friend!)

        *  Pull your hair back so you can really see the shape of your face

        * If your mom will let you, take a bar of soap and trace your face on the mirror (promising to clean it off when you're done, of course!) If she nixes that idea, just draw the shape you see on a piece of paper. When we do this in workshops, it's amazing to see how many different shapes there are -- and how beautiful they ALL are. God has, like, this amazing imagination.

        *  In your Beauty Book, in the Hair Section, take a whole page to draw the shape of your face again and write one of these words below it to describe what you see: (don't forget to have fun with markers and stuff)

                    VERY ROUND            OVAL            SQUARE OR SQUARISH

                 LONG/RECTANGULAR            TRIANGULAR        HEART-SHAPED

If none of those fit exactly , come as close as you can. If this just boggles your mind, ask a female you trust (not the sister who takes every opportunity to tell you you're a geek) to help you decide.

According to the hair experts, these are good ideas for hairstyles for your special face shape:

    VERY ROUND -- You look great in long and straight -- and not everybody does. Maybe go for a little height on top (pulled up into a Scrunchie) with some shape at the sides. Short and curly will make your face look even rounder, which can be fun, you cutie!

    OVAL -- ANY style looks great on you. How fun is that? You're fabulous.

    SQUARE OR SQUARISH -- Keep your haircut above or below your jawline. (Chopped off right at your jawline or poofiness going on at the corners of your forehead won't be your very best look) You are totally classy

    LONG/RECTANGULAR -- Something fun and full at the sides will be great. (You'll want to avoid piling your hair right at the top of your head or wearing it too long and straight) You have what it takes to look exotic and dramatic if you want

    TRIANGULAR -- Have fun with bangs and different angles, like a ponytail that's off-center. Smooth hair at your jawline is spectacular on you. But, then, you ARE spectacular

    HEART-SHAPED -- Curls or something else soft at your jawline is made for you. (Try not to go poofy on top, though) Girl, you are a walking valentine

Can't wait to hear what you discover and maybe what you have planned for a new 'do. It doesn't always involve an expensive haircut -- you can work with what you have or save up for a trip to Cost Cutters (we'll talk more about how to talk to a stylist later). I hope this is a blast for you, because it's so important to appreciate who you are and how you can play that up in every way. It's all part of being our best selves!

For those of you living near Columbia, Missouri, don't forget the next stop on the FaithGirlz Beauty of Believing Tour -- NEXT SATURDAY, MAY 9.  For more details, click here to go to the FaithGirlz website. I wish you could ALL be there!

And, teens? I'd planned to start your blog tomorrow but it's going to be Monday. Thanks for being so patient -- and for sending me your ideas. If you have more or you haven't told me you want to be included, click here to email me.

Blessings, my beauties!

Nancy Rue        

       

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU: YOU'RE STYLIN'!

Hello, My Beauties! It's good to be back with you. Thanks for being patient while I was away in Kenosha, Wisconsin, doing a FaithGirlz event. Two hundred girls and their moms came to share a morning with me as we talked about Girl Politics and Changing Bodies and other mini-women type stuff. It was a TON of fun -- and we're going to keep the good times rolling in Columbia, Missouri on Saturday, May 9, at Woodcrest Chapel. If you live anywhere near St. Louis, Jefferson CIty, even Springfield, come on over! The admission price is only $10 per girl --moms are free -- and that includes a free book, a FaithGIrlz pen and bracelet, a craft, and the book signing, as well as 2 fifty-minute workshops with me AND a whole bunch of give-aways. ALL of the FaithGirlz books and products will be on sale there. The event lasts from 9:00 a.m. until 11:30 a.m., leaving the afternoon free for your other activities. Please let me know if you're coming so I can look for you!

While I was hanging out in Kenosha with my new FaithGIrlz friends I was also thinking of you, my blogging buddies, and about what we're going to talk about this week as we explore our true beauty. I decided to continue collecting your hair questions (you've been great about posting those) which I'll answer in a big Q&A post on Friday. Sound good? Meanwhile, let's move on from hair-washing to hair-styling.

Everybody washes her hair -- we hope! -- but not everybody styles. And that's okay right now. It takes time to coax your hair into a 'do -- anywhere from seven seconds to a half hour! And if you do the blow drying and the flat ironing, it can also be tiring. It can feel like I look in this picture -- like you have your hands over your head for so long they go totally numb or feel like they're about to fall off. Not to mention the fact that it seems like you have to practically be a rocket scientist, or maybe a gymnast, just to pull it off. You wind up with hair sticking out in weird places and end up sticking it all up in a ponytail or under a ballcap anyway -- so what's the point?

So -- let's start off with some styling tips that absolutely ANYBODY can handle -- things that will get your hair going in a direction that shows off your most beautiful you:

        *  Always COMB wet hair. Brushing it when it's wet can actually break it, and then you end up with frizz. If you have trouble with tangles, use a comb with really big, spread-out teeth. Be slow and gentle. Getting beautiful should never be painful!

        *  Brush your DRY hair before you go to bed at night. If you have oily hair, brushing will spread those wonderful natural oils around to the right places. If you have really curly or wiry hair, it will bring out the natural oils that tend to hide in there. Even if you have in-between hair, brushing is great for your scalp. It's a soothing thing to do while you're thinking your end-of-the-day thoughts or listening to somebody read -- or whatever you do before you go to sleep.

        *  Brush or comb your hair anytime during the day when it gets out of control. You know, like after sports practice or after a test when you've been winding it around your finger while you concentrate. Just keep a small nylon-bristle brush in your backpack, give your tresses a few strokes, and you're gorgeous. 

        *  No mini-woman ever looks her best with her hair hanging over her eyes. Barettes, headbands, and ponytail holders are great for taking care of that. ANYBODY can be neat. Looking like you care about your appearance makes you that much more beautiful. Looking like you want to hide yourself or as if you think you're ugly so who cares -- that just isn't a God-thing at all.    

        *  As we said last week, have your dead ends trimmed off every four to six weeks.

        * And, of course, shampoo as soon as your hair starts to look the least bit stringy or oily, even if that means every day.

PIece of cake, huh? That's all you really have to do to look pretty, tidy, and naturally lovely. I'm serious. You have a fresh, innocent, wholesome beauty about you at this point in your life that will absolutely shine through even if all you do is trim, shampoo, brush, and stay neat during the day. Tomorrow we're going to talk about what's next if you want to do more with your hair. For now -- here's your Beauty Assignment for today:

        Go to the middle of your Beauty Book, where you haven't written anything yet, and open it out flat so you have two blank pages that form one big blank page. (Make sense?) We're going to start your beauty care chart today -- and here's how:

                *  On the left side of the two-pae-page, write these things: (only write the ones with * if they apply to you; the rest are for everybody.) LEAVE SPACES WHERE YOU SEE BLANK LINES. WE'LL FILL THOSE IN LATER

                        EVERY DAY   

                            _____________________                           

                            wash hair

                            *use conditioner

                            detangle with a comb

                            _____________________

                            _____________________

                            _____________________

                            _____________________

                            _____________________

                     EVERY MORNING

                          _________________________

                         _________________________

                         brush hair

                          __________________________

                   EVERY NIGHT

                        ___________________________

                        __________________________

                        brush hair

                        _____________________________

               

                  WEEKLY

                    _______________________________

                    ______________________________

                    _____________________________

                    _____________________________

                    _____________________________

                    _______________________________

                    ______________________________

       

        EVERY SIX WEEKS   

                    have hair trimmed     

Now, across the top, wrote two months worth of dates, so that you form columns for checking things off. (You've seen charts like this in school, right?)  Using your ruler or a yardstick, draw lines across for each item and down for each date, making boxes. Decorate your chart however you want to, using stickers, markers, pictures -- be creative and enjoy.  After all, being beautiful should always be fun.

Starting tomorrow (or today if you're ready to roll), mark off each beauty-making task as you do it. You can use cool pens or markers, stars, smiley faces, anything you want to keep track of how you're taking care of your sweet self. It'll be cool to watch yourself form good habits. Remember, though, that if you miss a day doing one of your beauty tasks, it doesn't mean you're going to be ugly that day. Just get back on track the next day!   

If you want to post today, you can either ask your hair questions if you haven't already, or you can tell us how awesome your chart is or whether you think this is a cool idea or you aren't going to do it because it'll drive you nuts or something in between!

Blessings, My Beauties!

Nancy Rue  

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU: THE MANE THINGS

I have to tell you, my beauties, I laughed OUT LOUD (big time LOL) at your posts about your hair disasters. Isn't it fun to see how far we've come since the days when we wound round brushes so tight in our hair we had to practically have them surgically removed? We HAVE grown up. Which means we're ready to get into totally taking care of our tresses. By the way, so many of you commented about Marijean's hair I thought I'd show it to you from the front. She just blows it dry and goes.

But of course she has to wash it first (duh, right?), and that's what we're going to focus on today. You've matured from screaming every time your mom came after you with the shampoo bottle, but maybe not to the point where you do more than suds up once a week and let it go at that. So here are some basics for great hair-washing.

    *  Hair looks best when it's clean, so wash it as soon as it gets the least bit stringy or greasy (not a good look for anybody!). Don't wait 'til it's matted to your head, especially if your hair is becoming oily these days. That happens naturally as you grow toward your teen years.  

    *  Make sure you have the right kind of shampoo for your hair:

            +  DRY HAIR (especially if it's coarse or curly) -- use a moisturizing shampoo, or baby shampoo if you wash your hair every day. It's unusual for a tween to have dry hair, but it can happen if you live in a desert climate like Nevada or Colorado, or if it's fried from lots of hot rollers, blow dryers, and  flat irons. Girls involved in dance or cheerleading or theatre can fall into that category, but a moisturizing shampoo can really help

            +  OILY HAIR (greasy when you skip a day of washing) - use what's called a clarifying shampoo; it will leave in enough natural oil to give you shine while taking away the excess that can plaster your curls to your head. 

            +  NORMAL HAIR (soft but not greasy) -- just use shampoo for normal hair; don't be surprised if your hair gets more oily as you move toward teenhood and the hormones kick in

    *  It's okay to wash your hair every day, especially if it's oily or you do sports. If mom balks at you using that much shampoo, ask if you can take an empty shampoo bottle and fill it halfway with your shampoo and the rest of the way with warm water. That's also gentler on your hair.

    *  Hair washing is an art, my stylist at Salon Ya Ya tells me. Here are her tips for fabulous shampooing:

            +  You aren't really washing your hair, you're washing your head!

            +  Put a glob of shampoo about the size of a quarter in the palm of your hand and work it into your wet scalp. She says most people use way too much shampoo.

            +  As you wash your scalp, don't scratch with your fingernails. Use the pads of your fingers and massage.

            +  Even if you aren't a girly girl (you have to be dragged to the shower and threatened with groundation), you can enjoy shampooing. Not only does it feel great to soothe your scalp with your hands, but who says you can't still make bunny ears with your lathered-up hair like you did when you were little?

            +  When you rinse, your hair will get the benefits of the shampoo, which is why you concentrate on your scalp rather than your hair.

            + Speaking of rinsing, do it for two or three minutes, which is a longer time than you think. Yeah, it's tempting to hurry and get done so you can text your CFFs or so your little brother will stop pounding on the bathroom door, but if you leave shampoo in your hair, it'll be dull.

            +  Tweens don't usually have to use conditioner, unless your hair gets really tangled when you wash it or if you use products like gel when you style. A tiny amount, the size of a dime, is plenty. Just apply it to the tangled places. Too much conditioner can build up on your hair and take away its shine.

That's it! Now it's time to style, which we'll talk about tomorrow. Meanwhile, what does all of this have to do with God? Sure, we  said yesterday that God cares about every hair on our heads, but does God care what it LOOKS like? We could come up with a bajillion Bible verses that talk about 'don't worry about how you look on the outside', and yet there are some you might never have read before where people (and God) were pretty focused on hair.

            *  "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard."  (Leviticus 19:27). Part of God's law to Israel in Moses' time for how to be holy. Some Orthodox Jewish men still follow that rule as part of their obedience to God. (Makes me glad we don't have to worry about beards)   

            *  In Numbers 6:5, God said that if a man or woman wanted to have a period of special devotion to God, one of the requirements was to not cut his or her hair. You'd know a God-devoted person by the long 'do.

            *  In the New Testament, Luke (7:44) tells us about a woman who washed Jesus' feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. Jesus was impressed by how deeply she loved him. You would have to love someone a lot to dry his wet feet with your own hair.

So, yeah, Peter warns us women not to get so focused on our hair that we forget about being beautiful on the inside. Your beauty, he writes in 1 Peter 3:4, "should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." But if you take care of every hair God counted and put on your head and you enjoy it, and you match its beauty with your actions, you won't just be that girl with the pretty long brown hair; you'll be that really friendly (or nice or fun or crazy-but-I-like-her) girl with the pretty long brown hair.  

Beauty Assignments for today?

            (1)  In the new Hair Section of your Beauty Book, write down the best shampoo for your type of hair. Then check to see if that now lives in your bathroom. If not, ask your mom if you can go with her next time she shops for hair products. Share with her that you intend to use half water/half shampoo and only put a quarter-sized dollop on your head every time you wash. She'll be impressed!

            (2) Give yourself a luxurious shampoo (preferably at a time when nobody's waiting in line to use the shower or you aren't rushing to get it together for school)

If you'd like to post today, why not ask your biggest hair question so I can make sure I answer them all in the days to come. Speaking of days to come, I won't be blogging Thursday or Friday since I'll be in Wisconsin for the FaithGirlz event. Remember, if you live anywhere near Kenosha, you can find out more about the event by checking out the FaithGirlz website !!! I wish I could see ALL of you there --

Blessings,

Nancy Rue    

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU: A HAIRY SITUATION

I am SO proud you Lovelies for the work you're doing to accept yourselves as the beautiful mini-women you are. And it IS work. I hope I haven't led anyone to believe that I think it's a snap to just say, "You know what? I don't care what anybody thinks --I'm gorgeous!" and go on from there. I don't gaze at myself in the mirror everyday and say, "Lookin' good, Nance." But as I've gotten older I feel beautiful a whole lot more than I used to, and I wish I'd started sooner. That's why I'm doing this with you: so you'll have a whole lifetime knowing God made you gorgeous.

Now, before we move on to hair, I do need to remind you not to chat on the blog. I know you want to be encouraging to each other, and that is one of the most beautiful things about you all, but the real lift comes  when you simply tell your OWN story. We all learn so much more from taking that in, than from someone telling us we're wrong. So, don't try to fix each other. If you want to encourage someone who has commented, you can simply post, "I'm praying for you, So-and-So." This, by the way, is not meant to sound like scolding. This no-chat thing is hard, and we're all learning.

Okay -- on to hair! We all have it. (duh!) We know God cares about it or He wouldn't have put it there. "Even the very hairs on your head are all numbered," Jesus said in Matthew 10:30.  It's one of the first things people notice about us. When someone says, "What does she look like?" the person doing the describing usually starts with, "She's a redhead (blonde, brunette)." or "She has really long (or really short) hair." When someone's describing my husband they always start with, "He's completely bald!" Trust me, I have my days when I wish I had his 'do -- because it takes time to deal with hair. And yet I do the whole hair-thing, because, again, it's such a strong feature  -- on just about everybody.

Here's the good news: even the smallest change for the better with hair makes a HUGE difference in a person's overall beauty.

            *  Instead of letting your hair get greasy and stuck to your head before you wash it, you start shampooing it everyday. You realize you feel and look fresh and new every single day. How cool is that?   
            *  Rather than dragging a brush through your tresses in the morning and forgetting about it all day, you slick it into a nice, neat ponytail so you CAN forget about it all day, or you tuck a small brush into your backpack and give it a detangle at lunchtime, after soccer practice, etc.. You notice that you feel put together, you hold your head higher, and you automatically look confident. There is nothing more beautiful than believing.
 
Those are two very basic beauty tips that a lot of you probably already do. So let's take it up a notch.  Let's talk about trimming. Now, before you grasp your hair in your hands and cry, "No! I want it to grow long!" hear me out. Whether your dream is to have hair down to your waist, or you like a short bob that doesn't get in your way, the hair experts say it's best to have your hair trimmed every four to six weeks to get rid of the split ends that EVERYBODY gets. Have you ever tried to grow your hair long and it got to a certain place and then stopped? That's because hair that isn't ever trimmed sort of branches off at the ends into pieces so thin they can't grow. It has nothing to do with how much conditioner you use or how often you brush. That's just what hair does. If you want long, healthy hair, get a trim of just the split ends on schedule and your hair will continue to grow. If your hair is short and you like the cut, you'll need to have it trimmed not only to keep the style but to allow your hair to be bouncy and shiny.

What if you want a bigger change? What if you've had long hair for a while and you think you want something different? My daughter, in the picture above, had hair past her waist. She hadn't had it cut except for trims for fourteen years! It was beautiful -- she took great care of it -- but she decided it was time for a change. A BIG change! She had sixteen inches cut off -- into the adorable, bouncy, shiny style you see above, and gave the cut-off hair to Locks of Love, so women who have had to undergo chemotherapy for cancer and want wigs can get them free, made from human hair. That was pretty drastic, that haircut, but it made Marijean look younger (you want that when you're thirty) and yet more sophisticated and stylish. It even made it seem like she had more energy because her hair wasn't pulling down on her. She looks like the self she's been becoming for a long time!

I'm not suggesting that all of you with long locks go have them wacked off! I AM saying that even a trim can make a big difference in your crowning glory. Fortunately, there are plenty of places you can go where a trim doesn't cost more than ten dollars. A lot of moms are handy with the scissors themselves, and you can even Google "hair trimming" and find step-by-step instructions. Obviously, don't try to cut your hair yourself (did you do that as a  tiny child like every other kid on the planet -- got hold of the scissors and started chopping away at your bangs?) It can be fun to have a hair night at your house where everybody lines up in chairs with sheets around them for the trimming -- and other fun stuff. More on that tomorrow . . .

Meanwhile, two Beauty Assignments for today:

        (1)  Start a hair section in your beauty book -- maybe create a whole page or just a picture or title at the top of a sheet. Have fun -- use pix from mags to show different styles, or use pictures of you in your past hair versions, or draw some funky 'dos. This will really help you see that the possiblities are endless.
        (2)  Examine the very ends of your hair and see if you can spot any split ends. Can you see where it goes from shiny to dull and starts to frizzle? That's right where it needs to be snipped. You might want to talk to your mom  about a date with the scissors. We're not talking about a complete make-over, (unless you want to, of course!) Just a neat trim so you're ready for the next (hairy) step.

What to post today? Your funniest hair story. Did you color it with marker when you were two and have purple curls for weeks? Did somebody give you a perm the day before school pictures were taken and you couldn't even keep it in a ponytail holder?  Did you insist at age five on having pigtails, which were only an inch long and stuck out like paintbrushes? Trust me, our funny hair stories will make us feel like our hair today was professionally coifed!

Blessings, my beauties!

Nancy Rue

ONLY FIVE MORE DAYS 'TIL THE FAITHGIRLS EVEN IN KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- AND ONLY TEN MORE DAYS UNTIL THE TEEN BLOG STARTS. EMAIL ME , 13'S AND OLDER, IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY.       

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU: AND YOU, AND YOU, AND YOU!

I don't usually blog on the weekends, but I had some thoughts I wanted to share with you this morning. After all, you are always on my mind.

The Mama Bird came back this year and made her nest in my gardening caddy again (which just goes go show how much gardening I do!) And once again, she produced some of the homeliest creatures I have ever seen. Seriously. They are scrawny and noisy and they're all beak and fuzz. I'm sure their mother thinks they are the most gorgeous creatures ever hatched from an egg, but she has to. It's in her contract.

Meanwhile, on the lake side of the house, we filled our four bird feeders this morning and then got into the hot tub on the screen porch to watch what would happen. In a period of time about as long as it took me to drink a cup of tea, it looked like a sale at Old Navy. Teeny black and white chickadees. A titmouse  (you can tell them by the funky little 'do on the tops of their heads). A big ol' fat robin with the reddest breast ever poking at the seed that had fallen on the ground. A woodpecker, black and white and red and majestic. A bossy but beautiful blue jay. A brick-colored female cardinal whistling for her brilliant scarlet husband to quit showing off his feathers and get down there and get some food so she could feed those kids. Out on the lake, Harry the Heron stood tall and slender on his log, and we watched him gulp a fish and wash it down with a drink. Every single one of the birds who got the word that breakfast was being served made us go, "Oh, look at that one! Oh, my gosh -- check that one out!"

You probably think you know where this is going. Yeah, yeah, we're all different, blah, blah, blah -- there's more than one kind of beautiful, blah, blah, blah. But wait --there's more.

Yesterday, I went to a school in our neighborhood and watched  some middle school girls practice for their upcoming cheerleading tryouts. (research for the RL books) There was one of every kind of girl out there. One had thick blonde hair cascading down her back. Another had a bouncy ponytail, curled for the try-outs. One was short and compact-looking with huge blue eyes. Her friend was two heads taller than she was and had the cutest brunette bob ever. I'd say three of the girls looked like they could have been in college -- that's how sophisticated they were. A couple of them hadn't started to grow into themselves yet -- long legs like Harry the Heron, or round bodies like Ms. Robin. Cute as they could be, but not yet what they will be next year or the year after. One of those, a redhead so thin you couldn't see her when she turned sideways, and with a mouthful of braces, suddenly broke into a series of backflips (without stopping in between) while the other girls counted. She did 17 backflips! I am not kidding you. SEVENTEEN.

So what am I saying, my fine feathered mini-women? Yes, I'm saying that there are as many kinds of beautiful as there are girls. And yes, I'm saying that each of you  -- whether you're a chickadee or a cardinal -- has your own brand of beauty. What I'm also saying is that in some women, that beauty is apparent from the moment they're born. Others start to grow into it when they're tweens. Still others blossom as teenagers. I didn't discover my beauty style until I was in my late twenties -- long after I was married and had a daughter of my own. One of my best friends, who is 57 like me, is emerging right now into a rather queenly woman. It's there, in all of us, and the sooner we realize that and start working with it, the longer we get to enjoy who God made us to be.

So on Monday we'll turn our attention to our feathers -- uh, hair -- and begin the physical part of finding the Beautiful You. But the inner part has already begun -- because now you know you won't always be all beak and fuzz. Just knowing that makes you that much more drop-dead gorgeous.

Blessings,

Nancy Rue        

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU: BEAUTY BLOCKERS

Good morning, my beautiful mini-women! I'm so jazzed that you're making your Beauty Books and trying to see what's already beautiful about you. But some of you are struggling with that, aren't you? And you know what -- I'm not surprised. You've been living in this fashion-model-worshiping society for 8, 10, 12 years, some of you longer.  Most of us can't just block that out over night. So today, let's take a look at the things that get in the way of our seeing our own beauty. It's like these things jump in front of us every time we look in the mirror -- so we'll call them Beauty Blockers. Ready to smack these out of the way?

BEAUTY BLOCKER #1: TV TRAINING -- Like we said yesterday, you'd think from watching television (or seeing movies or looking at magazines) that there's only one way to be beautiful, and that's to look like a Barbie doll. Only 2% of the entire female population of the whole WORLD looks like those models and actresses, and with so much photo and film doctoring, actually, THEY don't even look like that. So, uh, why do we think WE have to? (It isn't only tweens and teens who fall into that trap. Have you seen Valerie Bertinelli on the latest Jenny Craig commercials? She's about 10 years younger than me, and she probably works out five hours a day, but don't you know I thought to myself, "Hmm. Maybe I should try Jenny Craig." Not!)   

BEAUTY BLOCKER #2:  THE COMPARISON GAME -- Come on, we've all played it. "I don't have breasts yet, so I'm not as sophisticated as Stephanie, but at least I don't have pepperoni pizza skin like Whitney, so I can't be that bad." It seems harmless enough, right? After all, you don't say that stuff out LOUD. Except that yesterday you made a vow, right in your Beauty Book, not to put yourself down. That includes inside your own head. (None of us escapes this temptation. Sitting across from my beautiful 14-year-old great-niece Madeline in the above picture, I was thinking, "I am going to look so OLD next to her!" Uh -- hello -- I AM old next to her . . so?)

BEAUTY BLOCKER #3:  THE TEASER -- Whether it's your little brother, those girls at the other end of your lunch table, or some heinous boy creature in your class, if somebody teases you about the way you look, it can twist your image of yourelf. Even when you know the person is "just kidding" and says, "Dude -- can't you take a joke?" stuff like this can hurt:. "So, when's the Breast Fairy going to come visit you?" or "Are you growing an extra nose? Oh, sorry, that's a mole. My bad." You've heard your mother, your teacher, even your CFFs say, "Just ignore them." But it's hard when they're standing right in front of your mirror. (When I was growing up, my family always teased me about being a klutz, so I thought I was. It was impossible to feel pretty when I was sure I was a big awkward geek.Think Clifford the Big Red Dog!)

BEAUTY BLOCKER #4:  THINKING THEY'RE THINKING ABOUT YOU! -- It's pretty normal when you hit a certain age to think EVERYBODY is looking at you. When you were 8 you thought nothing of going up to the counter at Wendy's and asking for more salad dressing for your mom. But when you turned 11, suddenly you would rather die than cross the dining room because people were going to see your lame haircut, yoru dirty tennies, your cream-filled-donut belly -- none of which is really as bad as you think it is, and -- newsflash -- everybody is so busy eating their Frosties and French fries they aren't looking at you anyway. Not only does the mistaken idea that each and every person on the planet is watching you keep you from getting more salad dressing (and a lot of other things you need), but it's keeping you thinking about everything that is supposedly ugly about you instead of what's pretty dang cute. (I remember dying over and over whenever I had to process down the aisle in church with the choir in my late tween-hood because I just knew everyone in the congregation was noticing how many pimples I had. It never occured to me that they were looking at their hymnals so they could sing along!)

BEAUTY BLOCKER #5: WAITING FOR COMPLIMENTS -- You take that last glance in the mirror before you leave the house and you think, "Lookin' good." Then you get on the bus to go to school and no one says, "Cute 'do." Or 'That outfit is great on you." Or the ultimate -- "I wish I could look like you." Forget the fact that when somebody does say something like that, you go, "Oh, no -- I'm just me." That compliment has just made your day -- week -- possibly month. Which means when it doesn't happen, your day is trashed. If nobody is pointing out how precious you are, doesn't that mean you aren't? It's not far from there to, "I am so hideous -- I need to put a trashbag over my head!" And yet, how many times have you thought somebody looked totally cute -- again -- and didn't say anything to her because she ALWAYS looks adorable. Besides, needing constant compliments to feel good about ourselves is kind of like taking drugs. You can never get enough. (This whole go-for-the-compliments thing was drilled into me when I was growing up. Every time I would wear a new outfit to school or have a new haircut, my mother would ask me when I got home, "Did everyone like your clothes? Did anybody say anything about your hair?" I know this is a hard one to shake.)

So what do we do about these Beauty Blockers? We knock them out of the way everytime they show up -- and they will, over and over until they lose their influence on us. We also have to put something else in their place, and that thing is called God-Confidence. It's the knowledge that:

          *  God carefully chose each of your features and combined them to make YOU

          *  God's idea of you is perfect, even if the going look for models doesn't agree

          *  God shows us how to behave, and when we act that way -- in love, in forgiveness, in service -- it just doesnt' get any more beautiful than that.

We're going to talk about God-confidence a lot. For now, let's go with two Beauty Assignments for today:

            (1)  On the next page of your Beauty Book, write down your biggest Beauty Blocker. You can list more than one if they're all crowding to get between you and the mirror, but do them in order from the biggest to the smallest. Watch for that big one to try to step in front of you today -- and smack it aside.

            (2) Need a weapon for that? Do this. Look at your picture again -- or in the mirror -- and fill in these blanks with what you see in that girl (you!) YOU MAY ONLY WRITE POSITIVE THINGS. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOURSELF. I am serious about this -- there is something fine in every part of you -- so go find it!

        Her forehead is ____________
        Her ears are _______
        Her eyebrows are ______
        Her eyes are ______
        Her nose is ______
        Her complexion is _____
        Her cheeks are _____
        Her mouth is ______
        Her smile is ______
        Her chin is ______

If you want to post today, look at what you've written in the blanks and come up with one sentence that describes this whole beautiful you. Maybe THIS GIRL (ME) SOUNDS CUTE, LIKE A LITTLE ELF WITH WONDERFUL BIG EARS!  Or THIS GIRL IS A ROUND, HEALTHY, WHOLESOME LOOKING CHERUB! Can't wait to learn about what you see once the Beauty Blockers are out of the way.

And next week, we're going to talk about our hair. Wash those hairbrushes this weekend, girls, and get ready to get gorgeous!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue

DONT' FORGET THE FAITHGIRLZ EVENTS COMING UP IN KENOSHA, WISCONSIN AND COLUMBIA, MISSOURI. FOR MORE DETAILS GO TO THE FAITHGIRLZ WEBSITE.

IF YOU'RE THIRTEEN OR OLDER AND YOU HAVEN'T EMAILED ME TO LET ME KNOW YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THE NEW TEEN BLOG STARTING MAY 1, EMAIL ME TODAY!

                        

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU: YA GOTTA LOVE YOU!

Good morning, my beauties! It sounds like you're working on your Beauty Books -- some of you even have your masterpieces put together already. Even if you're still looking for the glue or scavenging for the right color construction paper, you can move ahead in our discovery of the beautiful you. Let's get started!

You have a picture of yourself on the first page of your Beauty Book, right? I want you to take a look at it right now, just the way I'm looking at this picture of myself. Mine was taken by a professional photographer. It's the one I use for my adult books and website and other promotional materials, so it had to be me at my best. It IS pretty much me, except that I asked the photographer to whiten my teeth a little . . .  Now, even though this photo shows me looking as good as I'm ever going to look, I can still find things wrong with my appearance. I mean, seriously, check it out. Isn't my nose just about a half inch too long? Can you see how it kind of goes crooked at the end? My hair was a little frizzy on top -- notice the stray ones sticking up? And aw, man, I forgot to comb my eyebrows -- they're going down instead of up -- although I can live with that, but what about those lines going down my face and fanning out from my eyes? Good grief -- how can I let this appear on the back of a book?

Okay, you can see how ridiculous that is, right? I have never been what you would call drop-dead gorgeous, but come ON. The above paragraph makes me sound like the daughter of Frankenstein! You get the point, though, don't you? If we look hard enough, any of us can find our physical flaws. I bet Hannah Montana herself picks her photographs apart. My friend Kacky, who is part owner of the photography studio where I had this picture taken, helps people pick out the shots they want to buy. She says it is so frustrating to sit down with beautiful young women whose pictures are stunning, and have them immediately start verbally poking at how long their earlobes are or how that single hair was going the wrong way or how that one pimple nobody else could see without a microscope is messing up their whole complexion.

True, the flaws are there. Nobody is perfect on the outside. Even models in magazines don't really look the way they do on the page. That same photographer who whitened my teeth for me said he could get rid of the stray hairs, smooth out the wrinkles, and make my cheeks look thinner if I wanted him to. (Trust me, it was tempting -- but then, when I met people in person, they'd wonder how I got so old so fast!) If you spend all your time dwelling on what's "wrong" with the way you look, you'll miss what's beautiful. And before you say, "You haven't seen me, Nancy Rue. There is nothing beautiful about me," I just want you to hush up and listen to this:  EVERY GIRL HAS HER OWN SPECIAL BEAUTY. That is a fact and it is the basis for everything we're going to talk about and do in the next several weeks. It's worth repeating:  EVERY GIRL HAS HER OWN SPECIAL BEAUTY.

Now, that is not like your mother saying, "Well, I think you're beautiful, honey." I know that doesn't help much when some kid's calling you "Pizza Face," or everybody's telling your sister she's gorgeous and then patting you on the head and saying, "you're cute, too, dear."  No -- this is a FACT. Every girl has something beautiful going for her in her physical appearance because God doesn't make a bunch of junk. Other people may think it's junk because they only have one picture in their minds of what beautiful can be. THEY ARE WRONG! They don't see it because basically, they aren't God. They are buying into the current idea of what beauty is -- and that seems to be that you are skinny as a garden hose and have lips as big as the living room couch. Back in the  50's it was lots of curves and in the 80's it was hair bigger than the state of Montana. How can it be called "true beauty" if it changes every five minutes? What, I was beautiful in 1989 because I had big hair, but I'm not now because I still have big hair? Huh?

So how are you supposed to convince "everybody" that you're a knock-out even though God shaped you like a fire hydrant and gave you lips the width of a pencil line?

You aren't.

I'm serious. You can't convince them so why try? They make no difference in your life, so why waste the energy? The only person you need to convince of your own beauty is YOURSELF. By the time we get to the end of this series on beauty, I want you to be able to pass a store window, see your reflection, and say to yourself, "That's me. Ya gotta love that!" That isn't conceited. It doesn't make you a snot. You don't have to go around telling everybody how lovely you are. It just means you appreciate how God has made you. That one change in attitude will actually make you look more beautiful.

So -- your two Beauty Assignments for today:

        (1)  Look at your picture like you're gazing at someone you love. On the second page of your Beauty Book, write a list of everything you see that is pretty, attractive, beautiful, not hard to look at. I would write down that I have shiny, fluffy hair, and happy brown eyes, and a smile that invites people to talk to me. (If you're still afraid somebody's going to think you're conceited for doing this, put your Beauty Book someplace where nobody else is going to read it. You have a right to that kind of privacy.)

        (2)  On the third page of your book, write this statement:  I _____________________ (fill in your name) promise you, God, that I will not put down the way I look. That's an insult to you, and I am going to try hard not to do that any more." Then work on keeping that vow. No dwelling on the zits that have popped out on your forehead. No talking about how fat you are. No wishing you had curlier hair (ior straighter hair) or smaller teeth (or bigger teeth). Pretend you are one of your CFFs. Wouldn't you rather eat raw oysters than hurt her feelings by telling her she's ugly? Then don't hurt your own feelings. Be kind to the girl God has made.

            "Lord, you are our Father," the prophet Isaiah said. "We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."  (Isaiah 64:8)

Several things are going to happen when you do this:

        * You are going to feel prettier.

        * You are going to look prettier.

        * You are going to find yourself seeing what's beautiful in other people and pointing that out to them, instead of announcing that they are having a bad hair day. That, too, is going to make you seem more beautiful

Enjoy this day of seeing the Beautiful You. I can't wait to see what you post about what you discover.  Meanwhile, don't forget that if you're 13 or older and you haven't emailed me to tell me that you want to be included in the new teen blog that starts May 1, do it now! ! And if you live anywhere near Kenosha, Wisconsin, or Columbia, Missouri, check out the FaithGirlz website for details about TWO upcoming FaithGirlz events where I'll be there to speak, hang out, sign books, and meet YOU!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue                              

      

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU: YOUR OWN BEAUTY BOOK

We have SO much to talk about today, Mini-Women! Let's get the business out of the way so we can get on to the beauty.

Okay, one -- I'm glad you thirteen-and-ups are jazzed about the new teen blog.  I plan to start it on May 1st, and I want to email you separately about the plans. You've made some great suggestions so far, and I hope that continues. So far I've heard from -- Emily K., Ali, Becky C., Cassi A., Elizabeth L., Joy P., Kortnie C., Katie K., Liana, Megan, Melody, Paige, and Kristina D. If there's anyone else 13 or older who would like to be in on planning the teen blog, or who'd just like to read it when it comes out, please email me. I don't want anyone to be left out.

Two, if you live anywhere close to Kenosha, Wisconsin -- like maybe you're near Milwaukee or Chicago -- I'm going to be there April 25 for a BIG mother-daughter FaithGirlz event. If you want more information, click here.
It would be SO way-cool to see you there. If you're going to be there, please let me know so I can look for you during meet-and-greet time. We are going to have a blast!

Okay, done with the business. On to the beauty. In case you're just now joining us -- and if you are, please introduce yourself with a post so we'll know you're part of the Tween community -- today we're starting a brand new series of posts called The Beautiful You, where we'll talk about reflecting on your outside the beauty you've been discovering on your inside these last several weeks (again, if you're just tuning in, you might want to go back and read some of the old posts). We'll talk a lot about inner beauty, but this isn't going to be about "If you are a beautiful person in your heart, you don't have to think about your hair (or your skin or your fingernails)." Don't you, in fact, hate it when grown-ups say that? Yes, it's possible to have every gorgeous thing going for you physically and be a heinous individual within. But it's also possible to be absolutely precious within, and not show that to the world in how you take care of yourself.

So we're going to become our beautiful selves in two ways. One, we're going to continue to shine with a sensational inner light (compliments of God) and two, we're going to learn how to make the most of our just as fabulous outer gifts (also compliments of God). To keep track of all of that, I suggest that each of you make yourselves your own Beauty Book.  
You can use anything you have around the house -- an old spiral notebook, a bunch of some binder paper stapled between two sheets of construction paper, or even a whole binder nobody's using any more. Don't beg your mom to take you to Barnes and Noble to buy some fabulous journal, because starting with something totally basic means you can make it look any way you want to. Decorate the front cover so that it looks like your own personal, unique, one-of-a-kind idea of beauty. You can draw on it, cover it with a collage of pix from magazines, or just cut out colors and shapes and arrange them. Steer away from using photos of girls who everybody on the planet considers "beautiful." Forget MIley Cyrus and Taylor Swift for the moment (adorable as they are). In fact, don't use any faces at all. Just go with colors, shapes, what's lovely in nature, and symbols that take your breath away. Really take some time with this and let your imagination do the talking -- and the drawing -- and the cutting-out. If you're doing this with a CFF, don't worry if yours is way different from hers -- it should be! -- and don't start thinking hers is cooler (or more creative or not as dorky) as yours. What's beautiful to you is what's beautiful. Period.

We're going to be talking about all kinds of cool stuff you can do in your Beauty Book, but for right now, take your time making it a rockin' reflection of you. That's your first Beauty Tip. Your second is to find a recent photograph of yourself that you're allowed to paste onto the first page inside your beauty book. She's your BEFORE picture, and she's just waiting to burst out with the drop-dead gorgeous stuff that's already tucked inside.

Don't stress if you don't get this done by tomorrow's post. If our journey to the Beautiful You isn't fun and stress-free, forget about it! Freaking out never made anybody pretty! Can't wait to start filling that book up with you. In the meantime, plan on praying this today in your quiet time with God, because this is going to be our theme:

                "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
                your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
                                                            Psalm 139:14

(And by the way, "fearfully" doesn't mean you look like Godzilla's little sister. It means "awesomely" -- and mini-women, you ARE awesome!)

Blessings, my beauties,

Nancy Rue                

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU: HAVING A BEAUTY MIND

Only because I totally trust you, my mini-women, not to say, "EWW!" can I post this picture of myself for all the world to see.  I didn't wash my hair that morning -- actually, I barely brushed it. I wasn't wearing make-up, either -- I mean, I WAS going surfing so what was the point? And I had on black, which isn't the best color for me. But mostly what makes me look less than my best (ya think?) is what was going through my mind. Dustin (remember him? cute surfing instructor?) was picking out a wetsuit for me, and they all seemed so SMALL. What was I thinking? I was thinking, "What if he gives me one to put on and I can't even zip it up? How embarrassing would that be? Or what if I do get it on and I look like a Michelin tire in the thing?" I'm going to guess that my having a bad beauty day had far more to do with my mind set than my lack of make-up and my poor wardrobe choice.  Because look what happened a few minutes later (after I did get the wetsuit on and zipped up):

 I didn't apply lip stick and blush or fluff up my 'do, and I was still wearing black, but I have to say, even though I still wouldn't make it as a Cover Girl, this picture is a whole lot better. What's the difference? While I was wriggling into the wetsuit -- and taking it off and wriggling into it again because I put it on backwards the first time! -- I remembered why I was taking a surfing lesson in the first place. It wasn't to become the next Archy What's-His-Name or even to master it as a sport. I just wanted to experience what it's like to try to learn to surf since that's what my character, Bryn, is going to do in the second RL book. All I had to do was pay attention and have fun, no matter how big my hips looked in that wetsuit. Besides, Dustin was super nice -- my friends were there to support me and take pictures --and I was going to have all kinds of fun stories to tell my mini-women. I started to have a ball just waxing the surfboard -- and it showed in the picture. Fun, happiness, hope, positive-ness: those things improve your appearance a bajillion per cent, even if you're having a bad hair day.

We've been talking for weeks about being the real you on the inside, right? So I thought we could spend the next several talking about being your authentic self on the outside, too. How about it -- would you like to join me in becoming our best-looking selves? It doesn't matter whether you're totally into hair, clothes, shoes, and lip gloss, or you still have to be wrestled into the bathtub and avoid brushing your hair until it becomes a hopeless knot at the back of your head, or you're somewhere in between. Deep down, we all want to be as beatuiful as we can be because, well, we're girls. That's the way God made us. So here's what we'll do:

        * Starting tomorrow, I'll explain how you can make your own Personal Beauty Book. Each day that I blog, I'll suggest something to put in it -- and it won't always involve writing, so those of you who would rather eat brussel sprouts than pick up a pen can relax
        *  We'll cover all the beauty topics found in The Beauty Book and Beauty Lab, and I'll add more goodies just for us
        *  You'll always have a chance to post responses to the things we talk about, of course -- I have some cool questions in mind for that
        * Who knows -- there may even be another contest in which you can win a free copy of Lucy's Perfect Summer -- which makes sense since Lucy definitely struggles with all things beauty-related!     

SO - are you ready to become the most beautiful you possible? It isn't going to be hard, because each of you is already gorgeous on the inside. It won't take much to bring that right to the outside -- and we'll have a blast in the process. What do you  think of this idea? Today if you want to post, let me know how this sounds, if you're up for it, what you hope to learn. God and I will be listening!

Oh, BTW -- I know a bunch of you are 13 and older. Since I'm now writing books for your age group (the RL series, formerly called IRL) I'm going to start a separate blog for young teens. That doesn't mean you aren't still welcome here on 'Tween You and Me -- but I'd love to know if this is something you'd be interested in participating in. If so, email me and we'll start a discussion of what kinds of things you might want to read and post about. Or, if your email address comes up here when you post, just post a comment and I'll email you. I'm pretty jazzed about it, and I hope you will be, too.

Blessings to ALL of you!

Nancy Rue    

WERE YOU CONFUSED ON FRIDAY?

Bless your hearts, my mini-women. You will respond to my blog even if half of it doesn't make sense to you! I write two blogs, one for you and one for my grown-up readers -- and on Friday I accidentally posted the blog meant for THEM on YOUR page. So if you were confused by some of the stuff in there, that's because there was no way you could have known what I was talking about! My bad.

Okay, so -- I hope you had a wonderful Easter. My grandcat Henry did. He took up residence in one of the empty baskets and had himself a serious nap. I think maybe that's the way we all feel after the hard stories from last week, of Jesus being crucified and his followers all wondering what happened to their hopes and dreams -- and even after yesterday's big celebration with egg hunts and baskets of jelly beans and new shoes to break in. We just want to curl up and rest.

And you know what? I think that's exactly what we're supposed to do! Jesus has this whole thing handled. We've been reminded AGAIN that we don't have to suffer for the rest of our lives for the things we do wrong today, or the things that we don't do which end up separating us from God. We can't just say, "I'm going to do whatever I want because God will forgive me." Hello! But we do know now -- AGAIN -- that if we do make mistakes either because we didn't know better or we just got all wrapped up in our stuff, we can go to our Lord and ask forgiveness and the guidance to change directions and get on with our journey. So I think the day after Easter is sort of like when you get all stressed out over that stupid thing you said to your CFF that made her stop speaking to you, and then you finally go to her and beg her to forgive you -- and she does. Or when you're just sure you're going to be grounded for the rest of your life for something you've done, and then your mom or dad comes to you and says, "I think you've learned your lesson. Let's put it behind us and move on."

That doesn't always happen with CFF and parents, right? Easter doesn't guarantee that it will. It only reminds us that God WILL always forgive and help you change directions (that's what 'repent' means). And, in fact, God will actually FORGET the things you've done or haven't done. Hardly anybody else does that, and nobody does it ALL the time.

So yeah, I think we can curl up in (or near!) our empty Easter baskets today and rest because we know it's all right. Not even death (or being grounded or losing a friendship or even feeling like the worst loser on the planet) can separate us from the love of God. If you'd like to post today, why don't you share how you're going to celebrate your freedom from bad memories and guilty feelings and ugly thoughts about yourself? A delicious dip into the Easter candy might do it. Maybe a tumble in the grass. Or maybe a nap in a basket . . . I'd love to hear! And then tomorrow, we're going to start talking about how to be the most BEAUTIFUL you that you can be.

Blessings,

Nancy Rue