'Tween You And Me

BEAUTIFUL ARE THE FEET . . . NOW HOW 'BOUT THOSE LEGS?

Hello, Mini-Women! Have I mentioned that I love the Scripture verses on feet you've been sending in?  

ISABELLE pointed out that in the Bible Jesus washed the disciples' feet, teaching us to be servants to people.

VERONICA gave us Psalm 110, where it says, ". . .  I (will) make your enemies a footstool for your feet." She adds, "Just please don't go stand on your little sister because that's not what it means!" (I love that!)

ERIKA asked "Doesn't it say somewhere that Jesus will crush Satan under his heel or something?" Yes, actually, it does. 

ANNA brought us "Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. (Psalms 119:105)

EMILY even did a post about "The dust beneath his feet" on her own blog.

RACHEL found my favorite one -- "Beautiful are the feet that carry the good news." In fact, when I went on a missions trip with a bunch of teen girls once, we called our team "The Beautiful Feet."

As REGAN puts it, "I wonder if God made feet for us to learn something! I think feet are a great way for people to learn more about God!" I agree. In fact, I think anything God made tells us something ABOUT God. Maybe that even includes hairy legs and arm pits . . . 

I'm serious. If you haven't started growinghair under your arms, or the hair below your kinees hasn't gotten thicker than it used to be, it will eventually. It's part of that whole puberty thing. Then you'll need to decide whether you want to shave or not. Not everybody does it, you know. In Europe, for instance, it isn't unusual to go to a beach and see plenty of leg and pit hair, and nobody seems to be bothered by it. Here in the U.S. -- I don't know about Canada and Australia and China, so some of you will have to help us with that -- most women remove the hair from their legs and armpits to give themselves a smooth look.

So where does the God part come in? It has to do with that commandment about honoring your father and your mother. There are few coming-of-age issues that cause more battles between mothers and daughters than leg-shaving. Daughters want that sleek look and moms are saying:

            *  "You're too young. There's plenty of time for that. Don't grow up too fast."

            *  "Are you SERIOUS? I'm not turning you loose with a razor!"

            *  "No -- because once you start, the hair that grows back in will be more stubbly, and then you'll HAVE to shave. Just leave it alone for now."

THAT's where God comes in -- because if your mom says no, it stands. You have to honor her wisdom for you, because that's why God gave you parents.  Nobody says you have to LIKE it -- but how you handle not agreeing with her is a God-thing, too. Once you've stated your reasons calmly (leaving out "Everybody else is doing it" because that never works), back off. No begging, whining, crying, tantrum-throwing, silent treatment, or door slamming. Just a mature agreement that even though you think she's dead wrong, you're going to go along with her wishes. Here's the good news: she isn't going to make you go hairy forever. Try asking her again in another six months. Meanwhile, trust me, you don't look like a gorilla, even if you feel like one. Keep in mind that everybody else your age is so busy thinking about their own "stuff" they aren't even looking at your legs, hairy or not. Try not to draw attention to your legs by trying to hide them, or pointing out to everybody who even glances your way that you KNOW your legs resemble a gibbon ape, okay? God-confidence is beautiful, no matter what, and even bushy legs can't change that.

There IS the other side of the situation, where your mom says it's time to de-fuzz those armpits and you do NOT want to take the time to do that, or the thought of going after your skin with a razor blade freaks you out. Try to think of it this way: when you go into puberty, your sweat glands become more active and, frankly, those pits can get pretty smelly. The hair growing there (another delightful result of puberty) traps the bacteria that makes that not-very-delicious aroma even less delicious. Shaving your legs is a matter of appearance. Armpits are about hygiene (that is, smelling better than your brother when he comes in from playing baseball).   

If you and your mom do agree that it's time to break out the razor and the shaving cream, have her show you how to do it. Then add it to your Beauty Chart under EVERY DAY or WEEKLY -- that's up to you.

If you want to post today, tell us your shaving (or not shaving!) experiences -- or ask any questions you have on the subject.  This just about wraps up our series on beauty, although we can continue to discuss the Beautiful You whenever you want. After all, EVERTHING we deal with here on teh blog is about helping you become the gorgeous person you were made to be inside and out, who will love and serve the Lord. Alleluia!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue

PS -- Heather, will you please email me so I can tell you how to collect your prize? Other winners: don't forget to email me your wish list!

WINNERS!

Good morning, Mini-Women! You have been so patient waiting for the names of the winners of the wardrobe contest - and here they are! The following FaithGirlz will each receive their choice of three books from a list I will email to you. Drum roll please . . .

        TENLEY-- a precious dress and three two-piece skirt outfits I would totally wear myself

        ABBIE -- great flowered shorts, cute flowered top and skirt, very cool dress with citrus print, adorable top with matching bag, and a bright butterfly ensemble. (the top with matching bag was my fave of hers)

        ABIGAIL -- photos of her sweet self in some tops I would LOVE to have in my wardrobe (and could you throw in the pup, too?) LOVED  the long pink dressy one

LIBBY -- completely organized closet; I should hire you to put my office in order!

KATIE -- her fabulous school uniform (I would go back to school if I could wear that!); her fave striped polo (everybody needs one); and her way comfy jeans (loved the shoes, too, Katie) -- AND her gorgeous oil pastels of holiday outfits, exquisite gowns, even a bathing suit -- AND colored pencil drawings of an entire creative/romantic wardrobe. There was one long yellow dress with a diagonal scarf at the waist that I would put on immediately and wear all day, seriously

HEATHER -- a great pull-together of dress, leggings, and sweater -- so incredibly hip! I happen to be wearing almost that identical sweater today, Heather!

MIKAYLA --  verbal description of her wardrobe, including a great t-shirt that says "I'm Not Short. I'm Fun Size!" I bet you are, Mikayla!

 
Congratulations, all of you. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed your photos and drawings and explanations. So much so that I would like to post some of them here on the blog. I'll be emaiing you about getting parental permission. (And if anyone sent in an entry and I didn't mention it above, please let me know)

You are such a wonderful, fun group and I get so into your creative ideas -- so I'm busily dreaming up another contest. I think this one will have something to do with sports and other stuff you do in the summer. In the meantime, please remember that every single one of you is special -- not only in God's eyes, but in mine. Thank you, Mini-Women!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue

 

    

   

       

OKAY, SO MAYBE GLAMOUR IS THE WRONG WORD!

Good morning, Mini-Women! Loved your posts yesterday -- everything from great suggestions for nail polish colors to a major protest against glamor!  It's the BEST -- because you're all showing that who you are is just exactly beautiful enough. You're totally getting it! Some of you should definitely be in the nail-polish-naming business -- "Dazzling Purple" -- "Pleasantly Purple" -- "Loquacious Lavender" --  and my personal fave, "Lots of Latte", although I'd be too tempted to drink it. Right alongside you was our new commenter, Anna Solomon, who speaks for many of you when she says  having your hair all spirally up and wearing make-up is pure torture. (Have you read the Lucy books, Anna S.? I think you'd love them!) Yes, Anna, it is PERFECTLY okay to stick to your straight hair and freckled face and no make-up at all (and Caitlin agrees). The whole point of our Beautiful You series is to help you find out exactly what YOUR own PERSONAL beauty is and go with it -- anything from glamor nails to a quick face wash and a ponytail. Don't you just love that there are so many ways to be a girl?

That applies to feet, too. You may be as into taking care of your piggies as my great-nephew Landen (I have about ten pictures of him doing this!), or you may be thinking, "Toenails? Do I HAVE toenails?"  And yet even the most anti-manicure among you have said that painting toenails is a lot more fun than fiddling with your fingernails, especially now that we're into sandal and barefoot weather. So let's do a quickie look at basic foot care.

You pretty much tend to your feet the same way you do your hands, with a few special variations:

        *  Since toenails are tougher than fingernails, trim them with clippers instead of trying to file them.

        *  It's better to cut your toenails straight across instead of making ovals. Otherwise, you can get ingrown toenails -- which belong in the Major Owie Department.

        *  While you're doing your weekly manicure, soak your feet in warm water to soften them up

        *  Then use the pointed thing on the nail clippers to clean out the dirt from under your toenails. You think your FINGERNAILS get icky . . .

        *  If you're going to polish your toenails, put pieces of cotton between your toes to spread them out. That way you won't get polish all over them.

I think one of the reasons toenails are more fun to paint than fingernails is because you can do it for each OTHER. Ever had a toenail-painting contest at a sleepover, where you choose a partner and you paint each other's toenails using as much imagination as possible and then compare? It's TOO fun -- and being a girl is supposed to be a blast. Of course, if you would rather be bound and gagged than paint somebody's toenails, that's okay, too!

While we're on the subject of feet, let's talk a little bit about foot funkiness -- the things that make feet a nuisance.

        *  WARTS. Although they're not anybody's best look, they're harmless and usually go away by themselves. You can try treatments from the drug store, but it still takes a while for them to shrivel up. A wart on the bottom of your foot is called a plantar wart and can realy bug you. A doctor can "Freeze" that off. Oh, and BTW, frogs and toads don't give you warts, so go ahead and chase them on these warm summer nights!

       *  SMELLY FEET. Yeah, that can get stinky. Once they start to reek, the only thing to do is wash them. To PREVENT the pee-yew every time you take off your tennies, wear socks made of natural fibers, avoid plastic tennies, sprinkle baking soda inside stinky shoes and leave them over night, and wear sandals or flats instead of sneakers as much as you can when the weather's hot.

        *  HURTING FEET:  If you get a lot of blisters or you can't wait to take your shoes off, you're probably wearing shoes that don't fit well. Your feet are growing right now, so have your feet measured every time you go shopping for shoes. And don't beg for the pair you love if the store doesn't have your size. BTW, if your feet are bigger than your mom's, don't freak. Women's feet are commonly larger now than they were even a generation ago. Some of the most beautiful women in the world have slipped into a size nine or larger.

        *  THE BATTLE OVER HEELS. If you want higher heels now and your mom won't let you .. . .  listen to her.  Three-inch heels when you're ten are right up there with the long fake nails and the heavy eye shadow. You're going to loook like you're playing dress up with your mom's shoes. Besides, high heels throw your spine completely out of line and cause all kinds of problems with hips, knees, and even necks. They're cool for special occasions as you get older, but never for all day. Be part of the generation that says, "We will NOT walk around around on stilts! We will take care of our bodies!"

    *  BETWEEN THE TOE FUNGUS.  That's called athlete's foot, even if you aren't into sports. To avoid it, wear flip-flops when you take a shower in a locker room or at a pool, since that's where we usually pick up the fungus. Dry your feet really well after a bath and don't wear the same shoes all the time. If you do get athlete's foot, start treating it with a powder, spray, or cream you can get at the drugstore. It won't go away by itself, and who wants itchy feet 24/7?

That's it -- that's all there is to it. Whether you want a butterfly painted on your big toenail at all times or you just don't want to drive everybody out of the house with your stinky feet, that's foot care. Today, go to your beauty chart and under WEEKLY add "clean under toenails" and "clip toenails". In your HANDS AND FEET section of your Beauty Book, write down any of the instructions above that apply to you. Your Beauty Book is almost done!

Want to post today?  See if you can find a reference to FEET in the Bible. I know of at LEAST seven -- and I know there are tons more. Oh, and don't forget you have two more days to send in or email your wardrobe pictures, drawings, or descriptions. I'm LOVING what I've received so far! You are a beautiful group of mini-women!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue       

EVERY GIRL CAN GET GLAMOROUS WHEN SHE NEEDS TO . . .

Good morning, Mini-Women! I loved your posts from yesterday. You are definitely a hands-on group! We have pianists and violinists, typists and those who like to write longhand -- there are  painters and ticklers among you, as well as bike riders and mandolin players  and story writers One of you is even learning sign language. I can just see your angel hands at work on all this great stuff. The world is a better place because of you.

And because you have your fingers into just about everything, I'm thinking some of you might want some tips on how to make those nails a little more lovely. If you're a ballerina, your nails need to be less showy, I'm told, and if you're playing a stringed instrument you have to be careful not to let them get too long. But just about every girl, even if you play every sport known to womanhood or think less about having a manicure than you do absolutely anything else, has occasion to get dressed up now and then. Take my great niece, Madeline, who just turned 15. Usually she hangs out in shorts and flip flops because she's in and out of the pool or playing soccer or raising rabbits for 4-H. But in May she was going to a special dance -- and did she pull off the glamour or what? You can't see her nails in this pic, but they were as polished and exquisite as the rest of her. Being able to make those nails looks fabulous is a good skill to have, just in case you're invited to a great party or your grand parents are celebrating their 50th, or your cousin asks you to keep the Bride's Book at her wedding. And this next section is DEFINITELY for you if you want shiny, manicured nails every day.

        (1)  First do everything we talked about yesterday. Putting nail polish on nails that are cruddy and ragged is sort of like putting frosting on a cake that hasn't been baked.

        (2)  REMOVE ALL OLD POLISH. You'll just need cotton balls you can dip in nail polish remover. Wipe from bottom to top until it all comes off. Putting new polish right over old is not a good look, trust me.   

        (3)  USE A CLEAR COAT OF POLISH FIRST. There are special base coats, or you can just use clear. This is important if you plan to paint your nails a lot, because without it, colored polish can make them look yellow after a while.  Just use two or three strokes with a polish brush to cover your whole nail. That's all it takes. Any more and it gets gloppy. Let that dry before you move on. Don't rush. If that looks nice to you, you can stop there. Clear polish doesn't show as much when it chips off, and your nails will look shiny and pretty, IF you want color . .

        (4)  PUT ON TWO LAYTERS OF COLORED PLISH. Again, just two or three strokes and let them dry completely between. Instead of shaking the bottle to mix the polish, roll it between your palms a couple of times,. That way you won't get bubbles on your nails.

        (5)  APPLY A CLEAR COAT OVER THAT, which keeps the color from chipping.

        (6)  DON'T DO ANYTHING NAIL INTENSIVE FOR SEVERAL HOURS.  You might want to do your manicure before you go to bed. Don't let water touch your nails. Even if you speed dry by putting your hands in the freezer for two minutes, all the coats won't be entirely dry for three hours. So if you don't go right to bed, at least don't finger paint, dig a hole, or enter a pie-eating contest!

        (7) REMOVE OLD POLISH AS SOON AS IT STARTS TO CHIP.  A flake of polish in the middle of each nail is definitely not an attractive look for anybody. Not a good idea to chip it off with your other nails or with your teeth. Wait until you have tine to sit down with remover and cotton balls. And by the way, it only makes sense that if remover can take off nail polish, it can also take the finish off your mom's table or the color out of your jeans. Be sure you have everything covered. And do we need to mention not to get it even close to your eyes, your mouth, or a flame?

If on Tuesday you chose "A funky expression of your wild self", do ALL of the above, except that when you get ready to polish, use your imagination. This is one form of makeup parents don't usually object to (although you'll want to check with yours first) and it van be a blast. Find fun colors you like -- nail polish can be pretty cheap to buy, and  a bottle lasts a while. Enjoy wild, strange nail color now, because as you get older, it won't always be the thing to do.

If you decide that polishing your nails on a regular basis is your kind of fun, go to your beauty chart, and under WEEKLY, add "remove old nail polish" and "put on new polish."

You know what would be fun today? Dream up what you think would be the perfect nail color and give it a name.  (I always thought naming fingernail polish shades would be a fun job --right up there with being an ice cream taster). Is it "Perfectly Peachy"? "Sunrise Surprise?" "Purple Pleasure?"  Even if you're still a nail-biter and have no intention of picking up a bottle of nail color any time soon, this could be fun for ya. After all, so much of our blog series on The Beautiful You has been about you learning to enjoy being the girl God made you to be. Yes, yes -- who you are on the inside is what really makes you gorgeous -- yet highlighting that on the outside is like piling the whipped cream onto that ice cream sundae. Make yourself declicious!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU: THINGS THAT COME IN HANDY (AND FOOTY)

Good morning, Mini-Women! I don't know about you, but I don't think I could talk if I didn't have hands. They wave all over the place the whole time I'm jacking my jaws, emphasizing a word here, making a point there, inserting punctuation marks everywhere! That's one of the biggest reasons why I take care of my nails. People see them almost as much as they see my face.

Some of you seem to like the whole nail thing, too. RACHEL likes to paint different colors on her fingernails and toenails --because then she doesn't have to decide between her favorite colors, hot pink and purple. I love that! ISABELLE loves painting hers cute fun colors and has even discovered how to have them professionally done for only five bucks!  ALLISON is into hot pink toenails, while ALISHA goes for normal pinks and reds, toenails only. Others of you are more like I was as a tween. VERONICA says hers are totally nail polish resistant. ISABELLE is a major fingernail picker, and Caitlin bites hers right along with her. Here's the good news: I got something for all of you.

No matter which of the four looks you chose yesterday, you can follow some basics for taking care of your hands:

(1)  WASH YOUR HANDS. Well, duh, right? You'd be surprised how many people don't even think about it, though. Really clean your hands with warm water and soap while you say the alphabet to yourself. That's how long it takes to really get them de-germed. At the very least, wash them just after you've gone to the bathroom, you're about to eat (whether it's sticking your hands in a bag of chips or sitting down to a big dinner); you're getting ready to fix something to eat; you've been touching an animal; you've been shopping; you have a cold (wash twice as often); you've been around somebody who's been sick; your hands feel sticky, greasy, grimy or a little icky. I know that makes it sound like you have to have your hands in the sink all the time, but once it becomes a habit, you won't feel that way. It can be hard to get to soap and water when you're in school all day, so keep some hand sanitizer or wipes in your backpack. If somebody calls you a clean freak, pass him a Wet Wipe.

(2)  GET THE DIRT OUT FROM UNDER YOUR FINGERNAILS. Once a day when you get out of the shower or tub, use a metal nail file (the kind that comes on nail clippers) to gently scrape any left-over stuff from under your nails. Do it even if they don't look dirty. You'll be amazed what hides in there. (You don't really want to know . . .)

(3) MOISTURIZE. When you're putting on lotion after your bath or shower, pay attention to your hands. This is epecially important in cold or dry climates.

    If yesterday you decided you just want hands "Cleaner than your brother's", you're done!

    If you chose any of the others, read on for what to do ONCE A WEEK:

    (1)  FILE YOUR NAILS.  Use what's called an emery board, which is a nail file that has really fine sandpaper on it. Don't file with a metal thing, even though it's called a nail file (Go figure!)

            *  Don't go back and forth like you're sawing a log. That makes your nails weak. Start at one side of your nail and file in one directon toward the center, and then do the same from the other side. Try doing it while you're watching a movie or something -- it's boring otherwise

            *  File until all your nails are the same length and shape, probably an oval or straight across. You might have one or two nails that are nice and long and you're proud of them, but if the rest are way short, it's going to look funny if you leave them there.  Say good-bye to the long ones and file away.

    (2)  TAKE CARE OF YOUR CUTICLES.  That's the skin around your nails that tends to creep onto them. It's healthier if they stay in place

            *  Soak your fingers in a little bowl of hot, soapy water for a few minutes to soften up your cuticles

            *  Using what's called an orange stick (a little wooden thing with a slanted end) or a cotton swab (Q-tip), gently push the cuticles off your nails. Think of it as persuading them to get back where they belong rather than forcing them to

            *  If any little pieces of cuticle stick up, you can clip them with tiny manicure scissors. Just to be on the safe side, have an experienced person show you how to do that. The broken cuticle is dead, but the skin that's still attached isn't. Nobody should bleed during a manicure!

    If you just chose "basically clean and neat," you're done. Nice hands!

Tomorrow, we'll talk about the fun part like polishing. For today, go back to your beauty chart and under EVERY DAY write in "wash hands often" and "clean under fingernails."  Under WEEKLY, write in "file nails," and "take care of cuticles." If you want to, under your new Hands and Feet section, copy down the above instructions or print out this post and paste it in. You are going to be SO set.

Want to post today?  Tell us your fave use of your hands. Are you a painter? Volleyball player? Pianist? Do you carry on conversations with your hands going, or do actual sign language? Tell us your favorite way your hands come in handy!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue  

   

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU: HANDS 'N FEET

Hello, Mini-women! I'm ba-a-a-ack~! I MISSED you! The conference was SO busy, and picking up all the pieces of my life when I got back was even busier. I haven't even had a chance to read all the comments you posted while I was in a non-blogging state. I will, though -- and that should be a total blast for me. There's almost nothing I'd rather do than read what you have to say.

In the meantime, let's finish up our series on The Beautiful You by talking about a part of yourself you used to be totally in love with and probably never even think about any more. That, of course, would be you hands and feet. Chances are you were just like my great-nephew Landen when you first discovered that those things you'd been kicking since before you were even born actually belonged to you, and that grabbing them with your hands was the best thing ever. Wouldn't it be nice if that were all it took now to make you grin like that?  Actually, paying attention to your fingers 'n' toes can bring a smile to your face, or at least make you feel kind of put together and polished. Trust me, on a day when you've had a fight with your mom on the way to school and then you bomb the vocabulary test and then your BFF acts funky at the lunch table -- it's nice to be able to look down and say, "Well, at least my nails look good!"

Let's start by taking a look at your fingernails right now. They may be anywhere between shell-pink little ovals to ragged looking things you chewed off during the year's last math test. Whatever they look like, of COURSE they have nothing to do with how smart you are and what kind of friend you are,  but your hands ARE part of the body God gave you to take care of -- and for a lot of good reasons. You use them to appeal to God for help (like raising them up and saying, "PLEASE don't let my little brother be like this forever") To heal (Jesus healed people's bodies by laying hands on them; you can heal a friend's spirit with a hug). To clap (haven't you imagined a whole audience applauding you -- or at least your BFF clapping when you tell her your latest exciting news?) To create (notes to your friends, a sandwich for your mom when she's too tired to fix herself lunch, that picture frame you painted for your dad for Father's Day). Working (you know THAT thing!). Helping. Praying (ever noticed how much easier it is to focus on your prayers when your hands are folded?) If you stopped doing all of that because your hands didn't look like a nail-polish commercial, you'd be letting God and yourself down. But since there are about a bajillion things you use your hands for, why not keep them looking at least clean and neat (if not downright fabulous?)

So that's where we're going to go tomorrow. Between now and then, do two things. One, create a new section in your Beauty Book called HANDS AND FEET. Decorate it however you want. You might even take some "before" pictures of both (or outline your hands and feet on paper and draw in the details) so you can compare after you give them a make-over this week. Next choose the description below that best completes this sentence for you:

            I WANT MY FINGERNAILS AND TOENAILS TO BE:

            (A)  CLEANER THAN MY LITTLE BROTHER'S 

            (B)  BASICALLY CLEAN AND NEAT SO I'M NOT EMBARRASSED TO RAISE MY HAND IN CLASS

            (C)  A LITTLE POLISHED AS WELL AS CLEAN AND NEAT

            (D) A FUNKY EXPRESSION OF MY WILD SELF (AND ALSO CLEAN AND NEAT)

Remember, there's no right or wrong answer. If you can't see yourself spending your birthday money on a bottle of Sparkling Scarlet, basically keeping your hands/feet and nails clean is find, even for the rest of your life. If you get really jazzed about drop-dead gorgeous nails, that's okay, too. Copy the sentence with your answer in the new section of your Beauty Book. You'll already be off to a good start.

Want to post today? Tell us about your nails. Do you have a wacky design on your bigt toe? Can't kick the nail-biting habit?  Have each fingernail painted a different color? Already into a weekly manicure? Haven't thought about your nails in forever? We wanna know! Manwhile, keep those hands and feet busy being your beautiful self, inside and out.

Blessings,

Nancy Rue
 

HANG IN THERE 'TIL FRIDAY

Good morning, mini-women! It is SO busy here in Colorado, I barely have time to eat. Okay, well, maybe not THAT busy . . . It looks like I won't be able to blog again until Friday. Can you hang in there 'til then? Keep remembering that you are beautiful, and I'll check in Friday with fun stuff about hands 'n' feet. Thanks for understanding!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue 

WHEN BAD ISN'T REALLY BAD

Good morning, mini-women! This is going to be a fast blog today because I'm at a writer's conference in Colorado, teaching writers how to be even better writers. It's totally fun -- but it's keeping me way busy, so if my posts are short or I miss a day or two this week, not to worry. We'll get back into our routine next week.

Last week we talked about the "bad girl" look, and I want to  clear some things up about that. Not everybody who has a lot of piercings or tattoos or hikes the skirt up to there IS "bad." In fact, I don't think any of them are. It just LOOKS that way. There are a lot of reasons why girls go for the "bad girl"style -- and they aren't the reasons we talked about last week, the ones they THINK are the explanation for piercing that tongue or wearing that shirt that says "Bite Me." It's good to check out what some of those reasons might be so we don't judge people. Here are a few:

 

            *  In some cases it's just for fun. PAIGE set me straight on this one. What really is wrong with coloring your hair pink if it matches your outfit?  It does NOT mean you're "bad" or messed up or a rebel headed for juvenile hall! It probably isn't your best look for certain occasions and of course it is COMPLETELY up to your parents whether you head for the purple wash-out color for the weekend. The point is, when  you see somebody with multi-colored locks, don't jump to the conclusion that she has issues

        *  The person doesn't really know how she's coming off. She doesn't mean to send the message she's sending with that tiny bikini.

        *  She REALLY needs some attention and she's crying out for it. We ALL have to have attention or we sort of wither up.

        *  She wants to be understood SO badly. Ever felt that way? You may have expressed it differently but you get that, right? 

        *  She's trying to figure out who she is. Aren't  we all?

So,  as Jesus says, we can't be judging people. We've got to be taking care of our own stuff and praying for everybody else's. I'm gonna work on that myself today! If you want to post -- tell us what you could wear/do to express how you feel today. 

Blessings,

Nancy Rue

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU: WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE BAD GIRL LOOK?

Even in a motorcycle helmet and my cool Harley jacket, my daughter can't quite pull off the "Bad Girl Look". You know the one I'm talking about, because you don't have to look far to see somebody wearing it:

    *  pierced nose, tongue, lip, eyebrow -- you name it
    *  tattoos
    *  hair colors NOBODY was born with
    *  clothes that scream, "I don't care who you are -- you aren't the boss of me."
    *  accessories that suggest violence or sexiness -- like a necklace with a skull, a belt made of bullets, a belly button ring proudly displayed

Most of the time when you see the Bad Girl Look it's on a teenager or young adult. But it's showing up more and more on middle schoolers and even tweens. What's up with that?  There are probably as many reasons for wanting to tattoo and pierce as there are people who do it. These are some of the main explanations behind decking out in all black or piercing every piece of cartilage on the body:

        I WANT TO BE DIFFERENT.
        IT'S MY BODY, AND I HAVE A RIGHT TO DO WHATEVER I PLEASE WITH IT.
        IT'S MY WAY OF EXPRESSING HOW SICK I AM OF EVERYBODY TELLING ME WHO TO BE.
        I LIKE TO WEIRD PEOPLE OUT, ESPECIALLY ADULTS WHO TRY TO CONTROL ME.
        IF PEOPLE REALLY WANT TO KNOW THE REAL ME, THEY HAVE TO GET PAST THE WAY I LOOK. IF THEY JUDGE ME BY MY APPEARANCE, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THEM.
        I WANT PEOPLE TO LOOK AT ME.

So -- what's wrong with that? Haven't we been saying here in our Beautiful You series of blogs that you should be your unique self? That you should dress in a way that shows who you are?  That you shouldn't worry about what everybody else thinks?

Yeah, we have. But take a close look at each of those reasons for going for The Bad Girl Look and see why they're way different from what you and I have been discussing over the last few weeks:

    I WANT TO BE DIFFERENT. That's normal. But if all your friends or half the class are also dying their hair green and piercing their eyebrows, how does that make you different? "Unique" is on the inside -- it's not something you decide to be on the outside.

    IT'S MY BODY, AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO WHATEVER I PLEASE WITH IT.  Except for people touching you in a way you don't want to be touched, technically the "rights" to your body don't kick in until you're at least eighteen and supporting yourself. Besides, no piercing is legal without a parent being present until you're sixteen,and in some states until you're eighteen or even twenty-one. Even with a parent's permission, by law a tattoo can't be done until you're eighteen. If someone is willing to ignore the rules and give you a piercing or a tattoo anyway, he or she isn't going to pay a whole lot of attention to the safety and cleanliness rules, either. We're talking possible infections, hepatitis, allergic reactions, deformities. Seriously, is it worth it?

    IT'S MY WAY OF EXPRESSING HOW SICK I AM OF EVERYBODY TELLING ME WHO TO BE. It's healthy to want to be yur unique self. The trick is to know YOU and express THAT, not your feelings. Is  BAD who you rally are?  Is ANGRY?  You might feel like nobody gets you, but there are a whole lot of safer and less permanent ways to deal with that feeling. (We'll talk about those next week)

    I LIKE TO WEIRD PEOPLE OUT, ESPECIALLY ADULTS WHO TRY TO CONTROL ME.  You're right -- it does weird people out. I once had a student when I was teaching high school who had a pierced tongue and she used to rub the stud against her teeth every time I looked at her. I gotta tell ya, it was disgusting. So what's the result of weirding out your teacher or your father or the guy behind the counter at the CD store? Have you ever noticed the way teachers watch the "bad kids"? They're on them like white on rice. They don't give second chances to kids who do things just to gross them out. Sometimes the rebels get in trouble for things they don't even do, just because they look like the type who would. It isn't fair, but it is what it is.

    IF PEOPLE REALLY WANT TO KNOW THE REAL ME, THEY HAVE TO GET PAST THE WAY I LOOK.  IF THEY JUDGE ME BY MY APPEARANCE, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THEM. What? The whole point of looking like you is so people will see a real person and want to get to know you better. If you make them work that hard to see who you are inside, you waste a lot of time that could be spent sharing great friendships. Like it or not, when someone sees a girl who looks mean or tough or full of attitude, that perpson is going to assume that she is those thing, even if she isn't.

    I WANT PEOPLE TO LOOK AT ME. We all want attention, and that isn't always a bad thing. If no one pays attention to you, you won't have friends, you won't be able to share what an awesome person you are, and you'll be pretty lonely. But you need the right KIND of attention. Not "What are you trying to prove?" or "Dude, you're scarin' me." But "You seem so cool," or "I like being around you beause you don't try to be something you're not." It's hard if you don't get positive attention at home, and that can make you think that any kind of notice is better than none. But that isn't true. The only good attention is the kind that comes from shining as the real you instead of making up somebody to be.

Whew, that's a lot for now! I'm going to let you digest all that, and we'll talk some more next week about TO express the things that sometimes make you want to do-whatever-you-want-because-nobody-understands-you. Meanwhile, think about this:

                                "Didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for?  The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body."  I Corinthians 6: 19-20, The Message.

Don't you love that?

so -- today, write down anything you learned here in this post in your Beauty Book. If you want to post today, tell us what YOU think about The Bad Girl Look.   Have a GREAT mini-woman weekend, and don't forget June 27 is the deadline for sending in your dream wardrobe ideas.

Blessings,

Nancy Rue         

   

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU: BEAUTY BUMMERS

Good morning, mini-women! You've met my grand-dog Fletcher here on the blog before. He's precious -- but he does have a bit of an issue with being smaller than all the other dogs. Seriously, he really becomes evil when the bigger dogs come around and show off their big-dog-ness. It's very hard for him to be small.

Even though he's a canine, he's not a whole lot different from us humans when it comes to stuff like that. A lot of us have what I think of as "Beauty Bummers" that we would rather live without. Things like:

        *  glasses

        *  braces

        *  being tall

        *  being big

        *  being small

        *  being short

        *  scars, birthmarks, moles

       *  anything other kids (including brothers)                                                                                             make fun of

Even if you don't have any beauty bummers right now, read on, because sooner or later we all have something we don't like about the way we look. I was doing fine, for instance, until I turned twelve and over night my nose seemed to grow long and pointy like Pinocchio when he was lying. Suddenly all I could see when I looked in the mirror was my schnozz! If you ARE dealing with a million freckles or a pair of feet that look like they belong to Big Bird, you have probably also discovered that people can be mean and "the world" in general can make you think you have to be "perfect' (whatever that is). Adults may tell you to just ignore the teasing, but we all know it's not that easy. Could THEY do it if it were happening to THEM?  Even if it doesn't bother you that much when somebody calls you "Four Eyes" or "Tinsel Teeth", wouldn't it be cool to make your beauty bummer one of the best things about you?  Or to be able to encourage other girls to have fun with their unique look? At the very least, just reading about this can keep you from telling your BFF to "get over it" when she's stressing about her shortness or her tallness or the burn scars on her hand.  No matter where you are on beauty bummers, you DO need to learn these three important things in your life:

            *  How to know what you can change and what you can't (because there are some things that are going to be there no matter what you do)

            *  How to change what can be changed, or at least make it a little better

            *  How to accept what can't be changed, and maybe even make it work for you

Let's use my nose as an example (it's prominently displayed in the picture above!). I need to ask myself three questions:

        (1)  Can I change it? Uh, no, unless I want to have plastic surgery -- which is painful and expensive and I'd rather spend my time and money on a great trip.

        (2)  How can I make it a little better? I wear my hair parted on the side so the eye isn't drawn straight to my nose. I also choose colors to wear that bring out the brown in my eyes.

        (3)  How can I accept it and make it work for me? It's a family trait, part of where I came from as a person. I'm proud of that. And instead of thinking of it as honkin' huge, I describe it to myself as "noble and strong --maybe even "queenly". Nobody calls me Pinocchoio any more, but if someone did, I could just think to myself, "Thanks for sharing, but you obviously don't know that I have the queen of noses."

Here's what to do right now. Grab your Beauty Book and start a new section -- a SMALL one -- called Beauty Bummers. One by one, list yours and under each one, answer the three questions -- CAN I CHANGE IT?  HOW CAN I MAKE IT A LITTLE BETTER? HOW CAN I ACCEPT IT AND MAKE IT WORK FOR ME? If you want to share what you discover we would LOVE to hear in a post. Meanwhile, if someone gives you grief about your height or your width or the space between your teeth, remember that teasing says a lot more about the teaser than it does about you. A mouthfull of braces or a face full of freckles tells nothing about you as a person, but a rude remark from a person's mouth annnounces that he or she is at that moment throughtless, or careless, or insensitive, or jealous, or needing to feel better than you. Jesus said, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.," (Matthew 5:44) Go with that -- rather than hurl back an insult about HIS wart or buck teeth  or out of control hair. You'll be even more beautiful.

Blessings,

Nancy Rue