CLOSED CLIQUES . . . OR SISTER CHICKS?

 

 

Good morning, Mini-Women! We have some things to celebrate today.

One, my new website is going up. The new teen page is up, so point your older sisters in that direction, and the parenting page has made its debut, too, so tell you moms and dads. The BETTER news for you is YOUR part of the website is being revised even as we speak and will be the next new thing you see.

The second thing to celebrate is that my big ol' honkin' novel for grown-ups is DONE so I can pay more attention to YOU here on "Tween You and Me". Y'know how you feel when a big test is behind you or a soccer tournament is over? That's how I feel right now, times about a thousand! Thanks for being so patient.

So speaking of focusing on YOU, two things:

        #1: HELP WITH GIRL POLITICS

        As I've told you, I'm revising the book Girl Politics, and instead of using a fiction story as an example of dealing with cliques and mean girls and even your own friends, I'm including real-life stories (changing the names, of course). And what better place to GET those stories than right here on the blog, from girls I trust?

        You did a GREAT job with your posts and emails on what a true friend really is, and I hope you'll give me just as many on this next topic -- CLIQUES.

        You know what a "clique" is, right? It's a group of girls who always, always hang together under a leader who has put herself in charge. A clique is pretty much a closed club, because you have to be invited to join in and when you do, you have to meet certain "requirements" -- like wear the right clothes, use the right slang, act a certain way. That doesn't sound all that bad, except for the part where cliques EXCLUDE other people, often to the point of meanly making them feel like they're "less than" because they're not welcome in the group. This isn't like a group of friends who spend time together because they like each other and have common interests. A group of friends might all be gymnasts or soccer players or dancers or just go to the same church. Those friends are free to be friends with other people in other groups and can bring in new poeple to join in the fun. There might be jealousy sometimes, maybe the normal hurt feelings. But nobody is made to feel like they are "in" or "out."  

    If you would like to help with the Girl Politics book, here's what you can do:

    In either a comment here or a private email to me at nnrue@att.net, tell me/us about an experience you have had with a clique. Consider these questions as you share your story (in as much detail as you want -- long posts are okay)

        * Have you ever been IN a clique?

        * Have you ever been the leader of a clique?

        * Have you ever wanted to be part of a certain clique and weren't allowed in?

        * Has a clique ever been mean to you, even though you had no desire to be part of their group?

        * Have you ever watched a clique hurt someone else?

        * Do you have a close group of friends that other people have said is a clique but you know it's not? (that wasn't a very good sentence, was it!)

        Everyone who helps with this will receive a free copy of the Girl Politics book when it's re-published. I will change all the names in your stories, as well as any details that might allow people to recognize you.

 

    #2 WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT CLIQUES?

        We can chat all day about how Jesus's rules are easier than the clique's, but what does that look like when we're hurting and frustrated? What can we DO? Here are some suggestions I think Jesus approves of:

        * Pray for the girls who lead cliques, especially the ones who are mean to you. Not, "Please, God, let somethng heavy fall on her head," but, "Please, God, heal whatever is making her behave that way." Nobody's just born mean. As for you, it's hard to hate someone you talk to God about every day.

        * Don't talk trash about the girls in the clique. They may act like heinous individuals, but quite frankly, that's none of your business. You've got more important stuff to do and better things to talk about.

        * If you have a group of your own friends, focus on making that group the best friendship ring ever. Really love each other. Enjoy what you have in common but respect your differences. Don't let any one of you be the boss of all of you. Stay open to the possibility of including new people. Don't have any friend "requirements."

    * If you're lonely and feel like you don't have any friends, ask God for two things. One, to show you which girls you know would make good friends for you. Two, to show you why girls aren't asking you to join them. Then keep your eyes and ears open, and that means not filling them up with complaints about the clique that doesn't include you!

I can't WAIT to hear your stories AND your thoughts about the blue section above. If you need more help with these, PLEASE put that in your comments too. If we need to get more specific we will. After all, WE are a group of friends that does it God's way!

 

Blessings,

Nancy Rue

       

        

Comments

[Jujubear ♥]

Mrs. Rue,

I just sent you an e-mail with my story for your Girl Politics book. I hope it helps!

[Joy]

I started writing an email to you and I accidently hit send so it's incomplete. Sorry I'll retype it when I get the chance

[Squirrelgirl 777]

Just sent you an email wiht my story.
You rock!
Infact, you all rock!

[<3Brooklyn<3]

Gr8 post! I sent you a clique story awhile ago...I hope you got it and understood it was for the book!

[Joy :D]

I sent you an email too but I know you got it because you replyed and said thank you. :) Thank you Mrs Rue for letting us help you with your book! you're awesome! :D Someday I hope I can be (even if it is only) HALF as awesome as you! ;-D