Hello, Mini-Women! Since you couldn't be here to help me celebrate my birthday this weekend, I thought I'd do the next best thing and offer you a left-over cupcake. Some of the ones you see here have already been eaten, including the one with the very red lips toward the bottom, known affectionately as "Mr. Cupcake" until Maeryn took a large bite out of his face. Choose any one you want. (And let us know which one you pick!)
I have to admit I did a lot of celebrating over the weekend (your birthday only comes once a year so you have to pack in as much boat-riding and hamburger-and- homemade pizza-eating and card-opening as you can, right? So I'm just now reading your comments from our last post and, of course, I'm delighted to hear from BAYLEE, (yes I'm going to write more stories using all of you and no it isn't too late to send in a list of your best qualities, the ones that make you a very cool person to be friends with), RUTH (welcome to the blog -- how cool that you have a FaithGirlz club!), RYLIE (yes, send your list in a comment), ABBY, and PETRA.
I think we're ready to move on to how to fix Friendship Flub #2, the Mind-Reading Game and, better yet, keep it from happening in the first place.
* DECIDE you're not going to expect your friend to know what's bothering you. It IS a choice, y'know. You don't HAVE to be ruled by your feelings. It's okay to have them, but not okay to let them dictate how you're going to act. (Sort of like you FEEL like flushing your little brother down the toilet, but you hopefully DECIDE not to)
* BE HONEST. I know it sounds like I have no other answer but this one for every friendshp flub, but really, really . . . if you can't tell a friend in a nice way that what she's doing is bugging the fire out of you without her freaking out and going all Drama Queen on you, is she the person you want for a BFF?
* DON"T GOSSIP about the situation, telling everybody BUT your friend how you're feeling. It's okay to run it by your mom or another adult as you're figuring out what to say, but, uh, not the entire fifth grade.
* KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. If your friend expects YOU to read HER mind, remind her that's not one of your many talents. Assure her with a big ol' smile on your face that you're not going to flip out on her when she tells you what's going on with her.
* DON'T FLIP OUT when she does share what you're doing that's driving her nuts. You might get your feelings hurt but give yourself some time to figure out whether what she's saying is true. If it's not, then it's time for a friend-check: is she really your BFF if she doesn't get you at all?
*MAKE A PLEDGE. Once you get this round sorted out with the above steps, don't assume it's never going to happen again. Old habits die hard, but they WILL die if you both promise sincerely to be open and honest with each other and for Pete's sake say what you want and need. Even Jesus asked people what they wanted him to do for them, and he COULD read their minds (or at least their souls).
It's easier to put all of that into practice if you have an example and that's what I'm going to do in our next post, using YOU! So if you want to comment on THIS post:
* Get your list (mentioned above) to me in a comment so you can be included in the story
* Tell us if the steps above make sense to you.
* Are there any of them you just can't see yourself doing?
* Any you're ready to try right now?
Your comments will be really helpful because, well, I can't read minds either!