'Tween You And Me

BACK TO BLOGGING!

Good morning, Mini-Women! Do you have any IDEA how much I've missed you? The whole time I was working to finish the Mom's Ultimate Guide to the Tween Girl World ( a big ol' honkin' book) and traveling to Chicago to shoot a video trailer for it and editing the final, final copy of the first teen book . . . . big breath  . . .  I was looking forward to the time when I could settle back into our blog routine. I haven't had a chance to read all your comments yet, so today I'm going to start right in on our new topic -- brothers and sisters -- and next week I'll weave in all your questions and wonderful input. Does that sound like a plan?

First of all, let me just say that things between siblings (you know that's brothers and sisters, yes?) CAN be very cool. There may be times when only your sister knows exactly how you're feeilng (uh, hello, she's growing up with those same parents!) or it SO takes a brother to stick up for you. Ever noticed how when there's nobody else around to play or hang with, a brother or sister will do just fine? Whether you're as close to your siblings as Piper and Atri are (my grand-pets shown in the picture -- Piper is the best big sister a kitten could ever have), or you squabble fiercely but would also practically die for each other (or at least take each other's turn emptying the dishwasher), there can absolutely be great times that you'll remember your who life.

You don't really need help with the good times, though, do you?  It's the hard stuff you want to talk about, and that's what we're going to do here for the next week or so.  Just keep in mind that everything isn't a challenge when it comes to siblings, but when a problem does come up, it needs attention and that's what we're doing.  Sibling stuff is so common, I wrote about it a lot in the Lily series as Lily Robbins dealt with her two brothers, Art, the older one, and Joe, the younger. Sometimes it just couldn't have been worse for Lily, not only being the middle child, but the only girl. In the beginning of Lily's story -- Here's Lily - her brothers practically got away with murder when it came to her:

        "Outside with that, Joe," Mom told Lily's nine-year-old brother, who was bouncing a basketball on the linoleum and rattling the dishes in the cabinets in the process.

   "Hey, Art -- go for a layup!" Joe called out. He motioned toward the hanging onion basket and tossed the ball to Lily's older brother.

   Art looked up from the basket he was dropping break into and smacked the ball away. It bounced off the corner of the counter and hit Lily squarely on the right fanny cheek.

    "Mo-om!" Lily hollered.

    "Mo-om!" Joe echoed her.

    "Joseph." Mom spoke without raising her voice or even looking up from the salad she was dumping out of its plastic bag into bowls. "I said take that outside."

    "Good shot," Joe said to Art as he dribbled the basketball toward the back door.

     "That wasn't a shot," Mom said. "It was pure luck, and it would have been bad luck if you'd knocked those glasses off the counter. Speaking of which -- Joe, after you get rid of htat ball, come back in and put milk in them."

   "It would have been bad if he'd knocked the glasses off with the ball," Lily said, "But you don't yell at him for hitting me with it?"

   "He got you in the rear end," Art said. "There's plenty of padding back there."

    "Mo-om!" Lily wailed.

    "I'll give him twenty lashes after dinner," Mom said. "Check the casserole, would you?"Even if you dont' have exactly the same family situation as Lily, if you've ever felt like things just weren't fair on the sibling front, then you've probably felt like she did. But by the end of the first book, things have changed.

    "All right -- listen to me, both of you boys." Mom's voice had that sharp edge they hadn't heard since the day Joe had tried to slide a pencil up Lily's nose when she was sleeing. All three of them froze in mid-move adn watched her. Mom shoved the sleeves of her sweatshirt up to her elbows and stared them down. Gone were teh doe-eyes. She was no-nonsense from eyebrows to cornea.  "I have let this go on far too long, and I'm putting a stop to it right now."

    "To what?" Art said.

    "I think you know exactly what, but let me spell it out for you."

    Even Joe had an uh-oh look by now, and Lily's heart was doing double time.    "I've let it go because we've always teased in our house," Mom said, "and I thought your brand of kidding was just what boys did . . . But we can control how we talk to each other, and from here on there will be no more teasing that hurts people's feelings." She raised her hand. "I'm just as guilty as anyone else. I'm going to have to work on it. We all will."

I know what you're probably thinking: "That's just a story, though. That's never gonna happen in MY house!"

It can, and you can help it along. Obviously you can't tell your mom how to raise her kids, or your dad either (though frankly I think all of us moms would do better to listen to some of YOUR advice sometimes . . .) But you can do some things that will not only make getting along easier, but may alert your parents to how they might be able to help.

So what do you say we start with a survey, to see WHERE YOU ARE WITH YOUR SIBLINGS RIGHT NOW. Write down the numbers of the statements that are true for you. If you're an only child, read through anyway. It may help you understand what your friends are going through.

    1.  I think my siblings get more from my parents than I do

   2.  I have at least one sibling who always tries to be better than me

    3.  I think my parents have favorites among us kids

    4.  When my brother or sister starts liking or doing something I liked or did first, I stop doing it.

   5.  When my mother or sister starts doing or liking something new, I start doing it, too, because I want to be like him or her

   6.  I don't even try in a certain area -- like grades or sports or beauty or popularity -- because that' smy sister's or brothers' "turf."

    7.  My siblings and I fight a lot. Sometimes it even gets physical.

    8.  I have a sibling who makes nasty remarks about me -- calls me Jabba the Hutt, that kind of thing

    9.  I have a sibling I make nasty remarks about, saying he's such a geek he should be wearing a pocket protector -- stuff like that

    10.  I have a brother or sister who is always stirring up trouble --telling things I never said or making a big deal out of nothing

    11.  I find myself stirring up trouble, saying stuff like, "Mom bought me ice cream while you were at your piano lesson. Neener-neener." 

    12.  The way my siblings tease me and joke around with me gets way out of hand. My feelings get hurt.

    13.  I can't help teasing my siblings even though I know they're going to end up crying any minute.

No -- two "assignments" for Monday/Tuesday (I'm going to try for Monday, but it will be Tuesday at the latest.)

                *  Count up your true statements and be ready to see what your score means (and know already that it doesnt' mean you're  a horrible sister or anything like that!

               *  Read Genesis 4: 2-16, the story of the two brothers, Cain and Abel. Remember how you learned to put yourself into the story as one of the characters and experience it that way, smelling all the smells and hearing all the sounds and feeling all the emotions?  Do that with this passage -- and be ready to learn what it can mean for you (and it isn't to beat your brother with a stick -- although that is sometiems a temptation!) It's good to be back. You are special to me, my Mini-Women!

Blessings,
Nancy Rue       
      

YOU ARE SO PATIENT!

Hey, Mini-Women! You have been SO patient, waiting for me to return to Tween You and Me, and waiting some more for the big announcement involving LR. I really, really appreciate it.

And, um, I'm going to ask you to wait just a LITTLE while longer. I'll be back to blogging big time on THURSDAY -- and I'll be able to make the big announcement next TUESDAY. So keep that drum roll going, and know that I miss you!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue

Hang In There!

Good morning, Mini-Women!

 We ARE going to start our discussion of brothers and sisters (and other things that drive you nuts!) later this week. If you're anything like this brother and sister, you could use the help!

 Right now, though, I have a HUGE book (for moms of tweens) that I have to finish, so I won't be writing a big ol' long post today. BUT -- you can help with the HUGE book AND get us ready for our sibling thing by posting the answer to this question today:

What is the thing your mom says most often when (if) a fight (argument, heated "discussion", anything that brings mom onto the scene) breaks out between siblings in your house.

Praying for you all, my precious angels from heaven!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue       

THOSE LUCKY PARENTS!

Good morning, Mini-Women! Guess what? The SUN is shining. I never thought I would BE so happy to see those golden rays. Maybe I don't have to build an ark after all. Speaking of which, congratulations to MORGAN who was the first to guess correctly that I was referring to Noah and the flood when I said I was ready to gather the animals two-by-two. I'll be sending your funky FaithGirlz pen soon!

And speaking of FaithGirlz -- I am counting the weeks until our next event -- Grand Rapids, Michigan, November 7! I so wish you could ALL be there -- but if you can't make that one, maybe Milwaukee, Wisconsin, on January 23, 2010 works better for you. We'll be announcing more events soon -- so stay tuned.

But since most of us are going to just continue to meet here on the blog, let's get on with it, shall we? I've decided that you have the luckiest moms and dads on the planet. Seriously. When I asked what you were going to do to try to raise better parents, you came in with stuff that made me wish you were MY kids!

                    * SARA says #2, showing appreciation in small ways, "works and the parents change and sometimes they don't realize who's doing it!" She loves the "mysteriousnss." I love that she's not all, "See how wonderful I'm being to you, Mom."

                    *  KATE is also about #2. Her home schooling mom "basically gives up her entire life" for her, and she wants to show her grateful heart

                    *  BETHAN is on that same page.

                    *  ALY is working on #6, choosing her battles, especially when it comes to her brother. "My mom's life would be SOOO much easier, I'm sure," she says, "if we stopped always going to her for reasons that really don't matter!"

                    *  BOOKWORM is working on #2 AND #6.. Get this -- she helped her mom make dinner, dried and put the dishes away, and is still thinking about what ELSE she can do to show her mom that she appreciates her. She's having a little more trouble in the sibling department, but we're getting to that, Bookworm!

                    *  ABBY is going to "start on 6" --  and so is ALEX, especially since her parents are going through some hard things right now. Just making that decision IS a start, ladies.

                    *  MELODY is going for #1, praying for her parents every day

                    *  MORGAN, though she doesn't realize it, is dong #5 -- not thinking she's the center of the universe -- by helping her mom with her sister when her dad is out of town

          Please continue to post what you're doing to raise those parents and how it's working out. Let me tell you, it's all going to be so worth it. See that lady in the picture with me? That's my wonderful mother-in-law, the only earthly parent I have left since my father, mother, stepfather, and father-in-law have all gone to be with God. Her four daughters (and my husband, her son, who is, of course, a boy) did a beautiful job of praying for her, appreciating her, thinking before they blurted stuff out, being honest about how they felt, not expecting to be the only thing she had to think about, and choosing their battles. Now we ALL have wonderful relationships with her. (Can you tell from this picture how much we love each other?) Not all of that is because of what her kids did. She worked very hard to be a great mother. But they certainly made it a joy for her to be so very there for them. God loves that.

    One of the things that keeps slipping into your posts about parents is your struggle with brothers and sisters -- you know, those OTHER kids in the house.

                 BOOKWORM says: "If I even LOOK at my brother or sister I will explode at them because they've been more annoying to me than ever in my life!" (Other posts indicate they are driving her "BONKERS!" )

                MELODY and PATTI have sibling problems even when their sisters have gone away to COLLEGE!

                KATE wrestles with her sister and her getting unequal punishments.

                EMMA is looking for answers to sibling issues in the Hannah Bible story. KATE tries to see it in the Mary/Martha tale 

    SO -- I'm thinking  we need to talk about brothers and sisters before somebody gets hurt! If you want to post today, tell us any or all of these:

                * your sibling issues

                *  specific questions about brothers and sisters

                * ways you've solved sibling stuff (as in, how you keep yourself from throwing them off a bridge)

                * Bible stories that have helped (or that have made you feel even more guilty)

I cannot WAIT to hear. I also can't wait for October 6. LR -- 2 -- I'm going to need your help BIg TIME!

Blessings, my mini-women!

Nancy Rue               

                

                         

        

                      

HOW TO RAISE GOOD PARENTS

Good morning, Mini-Women! We are on Day 10 of rain in Middle Tennessee. I'm seriously considering starting to gather the animals two by two. (The first one to post what Bible reference I'm making and why gets a funky FaithGirlz pen)

At least I've had your comments to bring sunshine into my office. Fourteen (14) of you have posted the numbers your parents are super-great at. (There might have been more yesterday but I'm having trouble receiving emails again. I KNOW there are gremlins in my computer!) You've revealed that you have some pretty awesome parents.

6 of them are always available to help (and I'm sure some others are ALMOST always there)

4 don't "inflict their wrath" on you ("wrath" can't be helped sometimes; would YOU want to be raising your siblings?)

4 make cool things happen and give amazing gifts

7 of them forgive, at least so that you know it, anyway

5 listen to you talk no matter what you say

8 show that they love you unconditionally

7 don't think you're dumb or laugh at you  

2 help you do things and let God use them to answer your prayers; I think there would have been more  on that one but the "answers prayers" part tripped you up; sorry about that

4 always seem to have a reason for what they do and make sense

8 make it obvious that they think you're beautiful

7 love celebrations and happy times

10 want you to be the best you can be

3 seem to know everything you're feeling

none want you to worship them, of course!

none have died for you -- but several of you said your mom or dad would if it came down to it

Some of you asked for prayer because you aren't feeling so good about your parents right now. I know a lot of adults are very concerned about jobs and money in these rough times, not to mention all the other hard things that happen in the grown-up life. That probably explains most of the areas where you'd like things to be better. It is really hard to raise a daughter these days --not because you're a messed -up bunch -- you're SO not! But because our culture is sick in many ways, putting all kinds of pressure on you, and because there's so much bad stuff they want to protect you from, yet they're trying to figure out how to help you be independent and confident, too. Yeah, it's hard.

You can help them. Seriously. No, it isn't your job to teach them how to be parents. Good grief, it's hard enough just being a kid, right? But as a growing-up mini-woman, you can do several things to allow your parents to raise you in the way that's best for you. Are you up for that?

It's possible for you to do these SIX (6) things:

                (1)  Pray every day for what you need from your parents. Not, "I need for them to buy me an iPHone, let me stay up as late as I want, send my little brother to Australia." Pray for any of the things on our list that you really need for your parents to do that you aren't seeing them do. Pray. Every day.

                (2)  Show major appreciation for everything they do right. When your dad has just listened to you babble on for thirty minutes, thank him for not calling you Jabber Jaws or ignoring you. When your mom gets why you just burst into tears for no reason sometimes, give her a hug. When they both spend their Saturday helping you with a science project, make them awards for winning the Best Parent category.  Yes, they're just doing their parent job, but everybody likes to be recognized for a job well done now and then, and being praised makes people want to do that job even better.

               (3) If you really need something -- for your mom to listen when you need to talk about some mean girls, for your dad to stop making you feel like an idiot when he helps you with your math homework -- think through how you can tell your parent that in your calmest, most mature way. "Dad, I really want your help with these math problems, but when you say stuff like 'why can't you get this', I get all nervous and then I can't think at all." Watch your tone. Don't accuse or whine or move into drama. Just talk to your parents the way you want them to talk to you

                (4)  Show them who you are. Be honest about your feelings. Share what you're thinking about. Let them know when your tastes have changed or you've discovered something about yourself. Parents can get so busy just trying to keep it all together, sometimes they don't notice that, hey, their daughter has stopped biting her nails or is interested in cooking.

                (5) Remember that they are actually people, and not just your parents. You have a right to their love and protection and guidance. You don't have a right to every moment of every day of their lives. If your mom is obviously busy -- changing somebody's diaper, writing out the bills, talking to a repairman, that is NOT the time to ask to be taken immediately to your BFF's house, or to expect her to stop and help you plan your birthday party. If you have a real emergency, then of course you can expect to be your mom or dad's top priority -- but "I forgot my homework and I need you to leave your Bible study and bring it to me at school" doesnt qualify as life-or-death.

            (6)  Choose your battles. If you pitch a fit every time you don't get your way or something's unfair or somebody in your family looks at you cross-eyed, nobody's going to take you seriously when you really do have an issue you'd like to have addressed. Do you have to run to your mom every time your sister ticks you off? Can you settle your stuff with your sis on your own,and save running to mom for when somebody reads your journal (something worth taking up with her!). When it comes to rules, you know there are some that aren't even worth arguing about becauuse your mom or dad is not going to change them. But if there's one that just doesn't fit any more, like having to go to bed at 8:00 or not being able to close your bedroom door, you can go to them with that, use the guidelines in #3, and maybe get something accomplished

           If you can do even one or two of those 6 things, you can raise you some excellent parents. After all, they're raising an excellent daughter. It's the least you can do!

        Which one are you going to work on today? Will you choose one and post a comment? Will you let us know how it's going?  I love that!

Oh -- and only 14 more days until you get to find out the news about LR -- 2. Tee-hee!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue       

The Perfect Parent (Yeah . . . Right!)

Good morning, my mini-women! I am loving your posts about what kind of parent God is. You're so good at seeing it because you're experiencing being parented every single day.

 For those, like my daughter Marijean, who are older and still hang out with their parents but aren't under their authority any more, it's harder to remember what a Father does. I'm sure Marijean now thinks of her earthly father as the guy who does things in a big way and makes everything fun, and the man you call when your car breaks down or you want fast food and nobody else will go to Sonic with you, and the person you consult when your husband does something funky and you can't figure it out.

But you are much closer to the hour-to-hour parenting that, without it, you would be a complete mess. Yes, there are times when you wish they would leave you alone and let you do your own thing, but seriously -- an hour of that and you'd be wondering when supper was or who was going to make you do your homework or why you suddenly felt so anxious and lonely. That's why when it came to God the Father, you knew exactly what to say. Here's what you came up with (I haven't put your names in because there were just so many -- I hope that's okay with you) To you, God is the perfect parent because He

                    1. is always available to help us
                    2. doesn't inflict all of his wrath on us (doesn't yell or hurt us) but uses the consequences instead (whew!)
                    3. makes awesome things happen, especially when we get it right, and gives awesome gifts
                    4. forgives
                    5. will listen to us talk about anything 
                    6. always loves, even in our times of fault, with no conditions
                    7. doesn't ever think we are dumb and we never have to be embarrassed when we do something funny. He never laughs at us
                    8. helps us do things and answers our prayers
                    9  has a reason for doing what he does; he makes sense
                    10.  thinks we're beautiful
                    11. loves parties and happy times, and helps us celebrate them 
                    12. wants us to be the best we can be
                    13. knows everything you're feeling
                    14.  wants not only worship but relationship
                    15. died for me

     As I look at that wonderful list, I'm thinking that if you have a friend who doesn't believe in God, you might want to show her this. How could you not love a God like that?

Your next step here is to look at this list of 15 things and choose the ones that are like your mom and/or dad. Do they let the natural consequences of your mistakes be your punishment instead of yelling? Do you know they love you no matter how badly you mess up? Is one of them so understanding you know that parent is reading your mind? When you post, please share with us the numbers that fit your mother and/or dad, and talk about those things all you want. I think it's going to show you that your folks really are raising you well. You'll even have specific things to thank them for. I loved it the day my daughter, at almost 14, looked at me and said, "Mom, thank you for teaching me not to be negative all the time. Now I get what you were trying to do." It made my day (week, month).

You're also going to discover that your parents aren't perfect like God. Not that it's any surprise, I'm sure! But when you see exactly where they might fall short (maybe your mom isn't always available to you because, hello, she has 8 other kids) you can be #4 and #2 and #6 to HER.

Most important of all, I think you're going to appreciate God more than ever, knowing how hard it is for your earthly parents to be perfect, and how easy it is for God. He bridges the gap between what you need and what your mom and dad are able to give you. Isn't that just so good to know?

Have a great weekend! Next week we'll get into some parent situations and how you might handle them, so if you want to post between now and Tuesday, you might also ask any mom-and-dad questions you want to.

Blessings!

Nancy Rue  (17 days 'til October 6!)       

Questions for God . . . About Parents

Good morning, my Mini-Women! I'm so jazzed about blogging with you today. It's all rainy and I have an entire pot of hot tea at my elbow and it just feels good to sit cross-legged in my desk chair and talk to you.

You've been doing a great job of talking to ME and to each other. I love how you encourage each other and pray over one another's needs and crack all of us up. I'm sure some of you have no idea how much you mean to the girls here on Tween You and Me. And even though we're all about tweens here, I also love it when the teens chime in and give their "You can do it" and "I got through that and you will, too." You just make me smile!

For instance, your responses to the last post were so well-thought-out, and they got ME thinking.  First I asked you to figure out how you are like your Bible character. You are practically a Testament in yourselves!

                *  KATIE felt brave like Esther when she went to her audition and when she participated in a school fundraiser where she didn't know anybody -- both very scary things. (We all hope you're feeling better, Katie) She also felt some of Ruth's pain when she didn't get a part in the play, which she wanted so badly because she feels God wants her to be an actress. "I feel like today a part of me has died," she said. Disappointment can definitely take that shape.

                * JOANNA, too, knows she's been brave like Esther, brave enough to share God's word when something bad could have happened. Joanna didn't change everyone's life, like Esther, but she did change one person's, and that is  absolutely huge. Jesus said there is rejoicing in heaven when that happens.

                *  ABBY couldn't see herself handling a brotehr's death  as well as Mary and Martha did, but she sees studying the story as a good thing because now she's "working on being like those lovely sisters!"  Well-put, Abby.

                *  SARA says she's like Ruth because she was willing to move to a different country. When she had to move to Hong Kong, China, she decided, "If God wants me to do this, well, let's go!" We're glad you're there, spreading Sara-joy.

                *  ALEX specifically chose Ruth for her Bible character because they both love children.

                *  Although ALY isn't sure what she has in common with Moses, she's working on it, and she came up with a really great question, which you'll see in a minute. (ALEX suggested she look at Moses' leadership qualities. Good idea, Alex)

     If you haven't posted what you have in common with your Bible character, you can still do that. Hopefully your fellow bloggers have given you some ideas.

Then I asked if your story made you think of a question you would like to ask God. Your queries were SO intelligent and mature and real. I"m not God --OBVIOUSLY! -- but I've offered some answers for you to think about :

                *   ALISHA wonders, after reading the story of Rahab, "Can God use me, even after everythgn I've been through?" Oh, Alisha, I think God WILL use you BECAUSE of what you've been through. You'll notice Jesus didn't pick the squeaky clean people to be his disciples. He surrounded himself with prostitutes and loan sharks and clueless fishermen. The one thing they all had in common? They all repented and changed the direction of their lives to follow him. Not that you fall into their category, but God will use you. You're too special to waste. In fact, we all are.

                *    KATIE wants to ask God, "Why? Don't you care about me? Haven't I been praying about this several times every single day for months? Now I feel kind like maybe I"m not a good actress and I shouldn't even try." I know I've said this before, but it doesn't hurt to say it again: God ALWAYS answers our prayers. But like EVERY parent, sometimes the answer isn't "yes", but "no," or 'not yet." And like MOST parents, he always has a reason for that answer, having to do with what's going to be good for you in the long run, even if it doesn't seem so good now. And unlike ANY parent, he's always right. Don't give up, Katie. Run with that chance you have to be assistant director. Stay involved in the theater program and your time will come. What some of you don't know is that Katie wrote a congratulations email to that professional actress who got the part Katie wanted and wasn't a very gracious winner. You might have surpassed even Ruth with that, Katie.

            *   Inspired by Rachel, ALEX wants to know "How can I help orphaned children? I don't have any way to help them. I don't have any money to give, any way to go to an orphanage."  She wants to go to Africa but is afraid of the shots she'd have to get. "I pray," she says, "but that doesn't seem like enough." What I love about all of you is that you are so eager to get on with the work you feel God has given you to do, even if you're ten years old. I believe God has definitely put the desire in you, but I also know that a lot of growth and training has to happen before God will use you to the fullest extent of what you'll someday be capable of. So what to do in the meantime? Work on your relationship with God. Become the best person you can be by loving other people as much as you do yourself (which is also very important). Learn all you can about what you'd like to do. In your case, Alex, that would mean reading about and talking to people who have worked in orphanages and started ministries for parentless children.  I'm sure there are also things you can do now that may seem small to you, but will make a real difference in the life of a young'un without a mom and dad. Is there a missionary from your church who works with children overseas to whom you could send cards and pictures for the kids? That might seem insignificant to you, but to a child who virtually has nothing, it could be the thing that gets her through the day. If you -- all of you -- are this passionate about your future ministries now, think what great things you'll do when you're ready. God is rubbing his almighty hands together in anticipation I'm sure.

        *  STEPHANIE's question is more about the right-now. "Why," she asks, "don't I get along with my sisters?" I love that question, and I think we might spend some time discussing that here on the blog. If any of you think so, too, please post a comment that you would love some help dealing with your fellow siblings. Scripture has all KINDS of good stories on THAT subject. I can see it now, "Sorry Sisses and Bad Bros of the Bible." What do you think?

        *   Finally, ALY says, about Moses:  "Did the people's complaining get on your nerves, since you were doing the best that you could?" (I know a lot of mothers who would like the answer to that question!) And to God, she wants to say, "Why did you keep hardening Pharaoh's heart if you wanted him to let the people go?" To that question, I think I can say with confidence that it was because God didn't want it to be Pharaoh who let them go, but God Himself. The Israelites wouldn't have been as convinced that God cared about him if Pharaoh had just said, "Yes, for heaven's sake, get out of here," as they were when God parted the entire Red Sea and drowned the Pharaoh's soldiers when it came back together right on top of them. As for whether the people's complaining got on his nerves, uh, yeah, I think so. Although he stood up for them with God a number of times when they were whining and God wanted to wipe them out and start over with another group, Moses did lose it on at least one occasion, when he came down from Mt. Sinai with the word of God on tablets and they were all dancing around an idol because they got tired of waiting for him. Moses smashed that set of tablets and had to go back for another copy. Everybody has his or her breaking point!

If you have a question you'd like to ask God and you haven't posted it yet, you can certainly still do that.  I don't always have good answers to suggest, but maybe some of the rest of you do. Definitely post a comment on any of the questions we've talked about today.

        
In the midst of all the Bible talk,  a bunch of you have brought up the topic of PARENTS. When I asked if you'd like to discuss that subject here on the blog, I thought my computer was going to explode! I'll take that as a yes. We mentioned above that God is THE perfect parent-- which your parents are never going to be, but we'll get into that later. For now, what I'd like for you to do is:

            (1)   Think about your Bible character and how God was a Father to him or her. See if you can put that into a sentence or two. (It'll be way easy if you put yourself into the character's place like we did before and really focus on God being the parent in the scene)

            (2) Then see if you can list five (5) ways that God is the Perfect Parent. Can't wait to hear what you come up with, because, of course, we'd love for you to post both (1) and (2)

Now, then, about the surprise coming October 6, regarding LR. I'm going to give you another hint. Think about a number between 1 and 3. So -- you think you want another contest surrounding that? Hmm, let me think about it . . . . YES!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue 
   

 

 

GOD, I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU

Good morning, Mini-Women!

I've been thinking about you so much over the last couple of days -- even more than usual because I ALWAYS think about you a lot.  Sometimes when I'm writing, I feel like you're all crowded in here in my office with me, raising your hands or just blurting out questions. (There is, of course, pizza involved -- I dearly love good pizza . . . ) Anyway, right now I'm imagining you all looking at me with a big "Huh?" on your faces -- because I don't know that the "Is there a little ________________ (insert Bible story character's name) in you" activity made sense. Either that, or it didn't grab you, which is also fine. So, why don't we approach your Bible story in a different way? A way that will lead us into our discussion of parents. Sound good?

Okay -- here's what I'd like you to try. Now that you have totally put yourself into the story you picked and -- maybe -- discovered that there is a little of your character in you in some way (big breath), let's see if we can't figure out what the story is teaching you about you. Try these steps:

                Step 1-- Close your eyes and get quiet. (That could take all day, right?)

                Step 2 -- See the part of the story you used again in your mind (also smell, hear, taste and touch while you're at it)

                Step 3 -- Think about any ways that you are like the character. (Are you loyal like Ruth? Scared but brave like Esther? Sometimes doubtful like Sarah? Willing to obey God even when everybody is telling you that you're a nut bar, like Mary?) If that makes sense now when it didn't on Tuesday, please post what you discovered. We all want to hear!

                Step 4 -- Now think about a question that comes to your mind when you read the story. (You can read it again if that helps) Does the story of Esther make you want to ask: "God, do I have the kind of courage it takes to stand up for people who are being picked on?" Does Ruth's tale spur you to inquire: "God, am I loyal enough to the people I love -- even when they're kind of cranky like Naomi?"

                Step 5 -- Pray your question. Then wait. You'll get an answer somehow. It will either be "Yes," "No," or "Not yet." That will lead you to your next prayer.

Make sense? I think ALL of us would love to hear your questions. It's always so cool when somebody says something like, "I just want to know how Mary stood it when people were probably saying she was a total liar," and somebody else says, "I've always wondered the same thing!" Because here's the deal: God WANTS us to ask questions. We get this idea in our heads that we're just supposed to accept everything in the Bible and obey, and in the end that's true. But it isn't always easy to understand -- it was written so people would HAVE to turn to God and say, "I don't get this. Can you help me figure it out so I can live it?"

 Otherwise, if all the information was direct and clear, why would we even need to have a relationship with our Lord? It would be like doing ALL your schoolwork on a computer and never being able to ask your teacher, your mom, or your fellow learners a question when it didn't make sense. I don't know about you, but that would give me an anxiety attack!

So -- if you want to post today, you can choose any or all of these:

                *  Tell us how you are like your Bible character

                *  Share what question(s) come into your mind when you review your story
   
                *  Ask for prayer for any issue you're facing, especially the ones that come from studying Ruth or Esther or whoever

                *  Encourage your fellow posters

We'll use all of this to move into our discussion about parents -- because the Bible can be HUGELY helpful. What we're doing right now is learning how the Bible can be a part of any problem you're having.

ONE MORE THING -- start a count-down to October 6, because on that day, I will have some news for you that I think you're going to like. It has to do with the initials L.R. Tee-hee!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue  

   

IS THERE A LITTLE OF HER IN YOU?

Hello, mini-women! I hope you had a FAB holiday  (those of you living in the U.S.) or just a great regular weekend (those of you hailing from England, Australia, China, Japan, Nigeria,  -- who have I forgotten?)  There's a really good reason why one of the commandments tells us to take a break on the Sabbath. Everybody needs a rest from all the stuff we run around doing during the week (and I'd like to take one more than once a week, trust me!) That's what vacations are for -- like the one I just took to Alaska with all the people you see here (and one who didn't quite make it in). My husband -- the handsome guy in front, the only one actually looking at the camera -- wanted a group picture of all of us on our boat tour, so he asked another lady to snap a photo. While he was arranging all that, my cute little mother-in-law (the one in the red) whispered to all of us to raise our binoculars just as she was taking it. So there's my husband, all posed so nicely, while the rest of us are horsing around behind him with our binocs. Ya gotta love my mom-in-law. She's 84 and she still loves to play pranks. I want to be her when I grow up (if that ever actually happens!)

I really do hope there's a little of her in me somewhere, because I so admire her. If I look really hard, I can find a couple of things. We both love Jim ( for different reasons!). We both love kids and babies and dogs and bookstores and laughter and coffee in the afternoon. We both love the Lord. I like myself better because there's some Mary Rue in me, and I learn from that all the time.

That's a lot like the exercise we're going to try today with your Bible story. More of you have chimed in --  SHANNON GRACE is working with Ruth -- ABBY is into the moment when Lazarus walks out of the tomb (she sees herself crying and then suddenly there he is!) -- GUEST GIRL has selected Esther (thanks to reading about her in the second Lucy book) --  so let's take another step forward.

This time, have a talk with the main character in your story -- Ruth or Esther or Sarah or Daniel or whoever. I know it's sounds bizarre, but when you think about it, the whole idea of studying these ancient stories, some of which have some pretty unbelievable events in them, is kind of wild anyway, right?

                    * Either using your journal or just closing your eyes and thinking the words, ask him or her anything you want. So, Ruth, did you really love Boaz, or did you just marry him to have  somebody to take care of you? Really, Esther, how scared WERE you when you went to the king to ask him to save your people? Mary -- did a lot of people say you were making it up when you told them you were going to have God's child?  

                    *  Now listen for the answer. I do this when I'm creating characters for stories. I ask Lucy, for instance, why Aunt Karen gets on her nerves so bad, and then I write down whatever I think she's telling me. Okay, it's weird -- but you have to be a little nuts to be a writer! You'd be amazed what is tucked into my brain about Lucy that comes out this way, things I didn't know I knew.

                    * Finally, consider what you and this character have in common. How are you alike? Let's say for instance you read about Noah building the ark even while everybody was making fun of him. What could you possibly have in common with him? Well -- have you ever:

                                *** Included somebody "different" while everybody else ignored her?
                                ***  Written your own report while others were copying off the Internet?
                                ***  Showed respect for the substitute teacher while everybody else was playing pranks on her?

If the answer to any of those is yes, then, like Noah, you, too, have enough confidence in God's instructions to follow them even if it brings teasing down on you.

If you have trouble with this one, just post a question, like: What should I ask myself if i'm studying about Esther? I'll try to answer them between now and Friday. And of course, post what you discover -- that you ARE like Ruth, Deborah, Sarah, Rachel or whoever you picked because . . . . Let's see how many godly girls in the making we have here on the blog!

So many of you have said you'd like to talk about parent issues that I think we'll take that up in the weeks to come. We'll continue to use the Bible for that because -- guess what? -- a lot of the answers are in there! GO figure!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue

Really REALLY Being There!

Good morning, Mini-Women! Have I mentioned how good it is to be BACK? I've been waiting and waiting to be able to REALLY blog with you again -- and here I am.

First of all, let me say how much I'm loving all the posts about what you wish your mom understood. They've been WAY helpful, and I think they will be to moms, too, when I put them in my book. I won't be using any names, just in case you want your response to be private. I'm also glad to hear that a lot of you have great relationships with your moms. Even if you don't right now, don't give up. You're both still growing and learning. In fact, maybe we could spend some time here on Tween You and Me talking about those kinds of things after we finish our Bible study. What do you think? 

For now -- back to the Bible! You've picked such cool stories (some I wouldn't even have thought of!) and I hope you were able to do your Sophie-Style-Study with it. If you missed that, just go back and look at the post called "Being There" from around August 17 (I think) .

Now let's move on to the next step, which is one of my personal faves. Instead of seeing the story as a bystander, this time you'll put yourself right into it as if you were participating. It's kind of like the difference between reading about sea otters (THE cutest animals on the planet) and actually interacting with them -- which is what I got to do when I was in Alaska. All those cuties in the picture are otters who same up to our boat to see what we were up to. Look at their curious little faces! We could check out their whiskers, see their pups doing somersaults in the water, hear them banging a rock on a shell on their chest to get the clam inside. I wanted to jump in and swim with them, but that was strictly against the rules . . .

Not for you, though! You can jump right into a scene from the Bible story you chose and get some of it on you. Here's how that works:

                (1)  Use the same fave scene you picked last time or choose another one from that same story. If for instance last time you selected the scene where the king chooses Esther, for this activity you might use the part where she has to go to the king and beg him to save her people (who he doesn't even KNOW are her people)
                (2)  Decide who you would like to be in that scene. Esther herself? One of her handmaidens who helps her get ready to present herself to the king? The king? One of his servants? Be anyone you want, as long as it brings you into the story to take part
                (3)  As you read the scene again, picture yourself in it. Smell the smells, see the details, hear the sounds, reach out and touch whatever's there. Most of all, feel the emotions, how what's happening affects you.
                (4) Then express that however you want. Write it in your journal. Draw it in a series of pictures. Make a collage. Put it in a song or a poem. Describe it to somebody who will appreciate what you've done

And, of course, POST any part of it that you want to. The Bible, after all, was meant to be shared.

Want an example? Here's one from the FaithGirlz Bible, based on Genesis 9:12-17 when Noah and his family come off the ark after the flood is over.

"I'm part of Noah's family. I've been on the boat for over a year with thousands of smelly animals. We've been crammed in there the whole time, looking out at endless water. I can't wait to get off this floating zoo. While old man Noah builds an altar to thank God, I run down Mount Ararat, feeling the solid earth under my feet. I throw my arms out and lift my head to feel the sun on my face. I never thought I could get this excited about plain ol' life. Even though Noah can get cranky -- who can't at age 601? -- I'm thankful he obeyed God. Still, it's hard not to be afraid. Everything has to start over, and what if somebody messes it up again? What if God really destroys the world next time? I pick up one of the kittens born on the ark and hold her furry self close to me while my heart pounds. Suddenly Noah points to the sky. Above us are bands of color, perfect strips of brilliant droplets in the sun, arching across the sky. Its beauty pulls my breath from me. I want to run to it and slide down it and wrap its streamers around me. But I know this is something special from God. It eases away all my fear. 'What is it?' someone cries. In his ancient scratchyvoice, Noah explains that it's a sign of God's covenant, a promise he's making that he will never destroy all life with floodwaters again. It will always be a reminder that God loves his world and everything in it. I snuggle my face into the kitten's soft fur, and I know it's true."

I am willing to bet that as you put YOURself into your story, you're going to discover what it means for you, today, in 2009, maybe starting a new school year or facing friend issues or fighting with your siblings or struggling to fit in.  After all, the stories weren't just meant for the people they first happened to. They were meant for you.

How cool is that?

Can't WAIT to read your posts about this -- and about whether you'd like to talk about parents later on the blog. I have my email back, so I'll be able to read them as they come in., It's one of the best parts of my day!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue